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For those who had loved someone, they couldn’t be with

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cute-couple-hupaingLove is a tricky thing. It varies in intensity and in the specificity of emotions. It is sometimes the most beautiful thing in the world and, at other times, it’s the most horrid thing we’ve ever come face-to-face with.

It’s odd how one thing could be the cause of so many contrary feelings. But that’s what makes love so beautiful – it’s the closest thing to perfection that exists in the world, the only thing that can easily and comfortably encompass both good and evil, beautiful and ugly.

It’s the closest thing to a flawless whole that man has ever claimed to have been part of.

When we think of love, we think of the happy kind of love, the kind that is the beginning of something beautiful – something that breathes life.

There is, however, another kind of love, a much darker and sadder kind of love. It’s the love one feels when one loves someone he or she can never and will never have.

It’s the kind of love that doesn’t signal the beginning of something beautiful, but rather the end of something that might have been beautiful, but will never amount to anything more than what it is.

Contrary to popular belief or popular wishful thinking, love doesn’t always end happily. It doesn’t always result in the joining of two people, the fusing of two lives into one.

Sometimes, on rare occasions, it results in the wedging apart of the two who love each other the most. You can love someone with all your soul and never get a chance to be with that person. Even worse, you can know that you love him or her, understanding there is no possibility that the two of you will ever be together.

Some people cannot and will not ever end up together, even if they do love each other. It’s a sad truth, but a truth, nonetheless.

The fact is, love is not enough. All those fairytales, all those stories and movies you’ve heard and watched growing up, lied to you. Love is never enough because love is not rational.

You hear that love is irrational all the time, yet you still hear the same people saying that love is enough to keep two people together.

Unfortunately, we live in a world governed by rationality, and while love may be irrational, and we may manage to make it work for some time, the real world always catches up with us and our irrational illusions dissipate into thin air.

Then we are left with reality and reality doesn’t always reason the way lovers do.

Some people don’t work out together. They have habits or beliefs that make it impossible to co-habitate with the person they love. There isn’t a couple out there that loves every little thing about one another.

Sure, they may find certain quirks cute or unique, but they don’t love them; they simply accept them. There are some people who have such habits, tendencies, or thinking patterns that really do make them incompatible with the other person.

The two may love each other fully, because remember, love isn’t rational, yet not be able to live and deal with each other forever. This is why relationships require compromise.

You’re not going to love everything about the person you are with, but you love enough about him or her to live with the things you don’t love. Not all people are willing to, or even able to, compromise. Sometimes it just doesn’t work, regardless of what our emotions tell us.

Compromising, of course, is a choice. You either choose to make it work or you choose not to. I believe this fully. As long as something doesn’t go against your nature, over time you can make it work. But there are still some cases when compromising isn’t enough.

Sometimes there are other reasons two people cannot and will not ever be together. In fact, this is usually the deciding factor of whether or not two lovers will be capable of spending their lives together: if they are able to forgive and forget.

Because love is as intense an emotion as one gets, it occasionally leads us to make poor choices – choices that are hurtful to the ones we love.

They may be poor calls of judgment, lies we told or things we said. When it comes to love, our pasts haunt us. We move from relationship to relationship, hauling all that luggage we managed to accumulate in our previous relationship.

Because lovers who can’t work together don’t like to accept this fact, they have a tendency of breaking up and getting back together repeatedly.

Each time they take a break from each other, they come back and try to start fresh. But the problem is, they’re still carrying all that luggage. And sooner or later, they start to unpack. All the demons come out.

When love scars, it cuts deep. The pain isn’t easily forgotten and usually cannot be willfully forgotten. When you hurt the woman you love enough, she won’t come back to you. And because you still love her, you wouldn’t take her back even if she asked you to.

You don’t trust yourself not to hurt her again and even if you did, she wouldn’t trust you not to hurt her again. Relationships are built on trust and you shattered her trust.

Chances are, you both have bruises that have never fully healed and likely will never fully heal. And that’s just something you decided that you’ll have to live with. Why?

Because you really don’t have any other options. You just hope that the two of you find others to love so you can think about each other less and so you don’t have to worry about her happiness anymore.

You wait in hopes that new love can take the place of the old — which it can. But that doesn’t mean you will ever stop loving each other. Some people will love each other until the day they die, spending the majority of their lives apart. And so is the darker side of love.


Written by Paul Hudson
This article was originally published on Elite Daily

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Better Be Good To Me (2 mins)

Okay this clip is so funny.. Paul Rudd’s lip syncing is hilarious (1:05) and Tina Turner is at her finest in 80s dramatic :o)

 I do love the song’s strong lyrics

“You better be good to me, that’s how it’s gotta be now..”

SG x

A prisoner of your love
Entangled in your web
Hot whispers in the night
I’m captured by your spell
Oh yes I’m touched by this show of emotion
Should I be fractured by your lack of devotion
Should I, should I?You better be good to me
That’s how it’s gotta be now
Cause I don’t have no use
For what you loosely call the truth
You better be good to me

I think it’s also right
That we don’t need to fight
We stand face to face
And you present your case
And I know you keep telling me that you love me
And I really do want to believe
But did you think I’d just accept you in blind faith
Oh sure babe, anything to please youYou better be good to me
That’s how it’s gotta be now
Cause I don’t have the time
For your over loaded lines
You better be good to me

And I really don’t see why it’s so hard to be good to me
And I don’t understand what’s your plan that you can’t be good to me
What I can’t feel I surely cannot see, why can’t you be good to me
And if it’s not real I do not wish to see, why can’t you be good to me.

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Let Go Let God

The Law of Least Effort, is based on the fact that nature’s intelligence functions with effortless ease, with carefreeness, harmony, and love. This is the principle of “Do less, and accomplish more.” When we learn this lesson from nature, we easily fulfill our desires.

Michelle believes that this quote relates to the end of Odysseus's journey back home. They all were tired and weren't up for any plans or tasks. They needed to relax and put their trust in Odysseus and that he would be strong enough to take them home.

If we observe nature at work, we see that the least effort is expended. Grass doesn’t try to grow; it just grows. Fish don’t try to swim; they just swim. This is their intrinsic nature. It is the nature of the sun to shine. And it is human nature to make our dreams manifest into physical form — easily and effortlessly. What is commonly called a “miracle” is actually an expression of the Law of Least Effort.

Continue reading

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Ancestral Healing – Finding a Therapist

Finding a Therapist

Ancestral memories and childhood memories are stored in your cells. These memories can be released and cleared with the help of a therapist who specializes in regression.

Sometimes when people feel stuck or paralyzed in their present life or have mystery illnesses or chronic depression looking backwards can help them clear blocks to move forward. (more info. in ‘Spiritual Healing’ category).

Create your Future

If you do choose to see an ancestral healing or regression therapist, look for one that is professional and preferably qualified. A few psychotherapists may do this work – get online, do some research and make some calls

Alternatively someone with a degree or qualifications from a well known school or a well known mentor. Someone who has written books on the subject or devotes their life to this subject.

Most important is that you get an instant safe vibe from them (energy doesn’t lie), that they have experience and that they understand the concept and importance of ancestral healing.

Bad feeling about things

Pitfalls on the Road

Do not trust just anybody you first come across or that is recommended – trust only yourself and your ability to sense what is safe for you.  Just as you would not trust a substandard or flaky doctor with your physical health, the same principal applies to your spiritual health. Personally I would run a mile if I entered a room filled with weird new agey stuff and an un-grounded spiritual vibe.

A healers job is to make you feel safe. Although well meaning, many healers are unhealed, are spiritually confused or fearful, are not working from the light and should not be attempting to heal or teach others until they fully heal themselves.

Hmm..maybe not!

A healed healer has worked hard on themselves. They have worked through the darkness, through their own shadow sides and fears, have healed their own past, have forgiven others and now know that their spirit and energy is safe in the hands of God. They do not need gimics to protect themselves They are strong and safe already.

This does not mean they are religious fanatics. Their only real religion is love and believing in the power of love and of God.

Look for someone balanced… they look balanced, they feel balanced, their space has good energy and you feel safe. They use their head (they’re intelligent), their heart and their healing instincts in combination.

Additional Emotional Support

As the ancestral issues arise you may require healing your emotions regarding the past as well.

Your spiritual therapist may not be an expert in emotional therapy, so if you feel you require additional emotional support discuss this with your trusted healer (they should sense it anyway). They may be able to recommend someone from their contacts that is an expert and safe, or consider seeking out a friend or counsellor (some sort of talk therapy) and use both in combination.  Again use discernment and seek out safe people. Someone you can discuss anything with (no matter how crazy it sounds  :o) – without judgement.

If you cannot find the right people, pray for guidance and help. Ask that the help you seek comes only from the light and is for your highest good.

And finally…

After you have some answers to the puzzle of your past that make some sense, think about at some stage visiting or exploring what you are drawn to. At first you may be scared and that’s okay – in time you will feel safer and brave enough to go on an adventure, explore, maybe travel around and meet people by following your instincts and internal radar / warning system. If it’s overseas, group tours are an option too.

Before travelling make sure you are in a balanced, healthy, good space and are well grounded. This is important. You will know when the timing feels right and good, because it will feel exciting rather than terrifying :o)

If in doubt – wait…the right time will come.

Journal your dreams or visions. Do research online, read books, slowly put the puzzle pieces together and after your journey has ended come home refreshed and hopefully with a lot less emotional baggage, more clarity and better health :o)

You may just find out a little family history that is both fascinating and healing.

History repeats itself – so be bold – go forth and change it.

Choose to live and create your best life and future – out of love not fear.

Love and baby steps,

SilverGirl