2

Don’t Believe The labels..

“Mental Illness”

Believe the labels you are given and you will remain a victim all your life..

Labels are for jars not people. Mental illness. Help end the stigma.

Oh ‘I’m bipolar’… really…. why are you bipolar? Do you know why?

I am a depressive… why? Why are you a depressive?

Let me assure you there is very real reason..

I am schizophrenic – and there is nothing they can do, except medicate me… really who is they – is that the medical profession? Well, let me tell you that is true, that is all the medical profession can do for you..

I have Chronic fatigue syndrome… again WTF …

Oh.. the doctors tell me it’s how my brain works and there is nothing they can do about it… except take my meds regularly.

Well maybe your brain can heal?…

Do you really believe doctors know everything there is to know about you and your individual emotional, physical and spiritual needs..

The real fact is people can heal… the hard thing for people to accept is it is their responsibility to heal and it takes a lot of work..

The next fact is not everyone will heal.. Why?

Because it’s hard, so hard that many would prefer to die than heal.

It is not your doctors responsibility to ‘fix’ you. They will try to assist you …  but it is your choice to be proactive outside the medical field or be as inactive as you want about it.

I am not anti medication – some people need it and they know they need it. For some people it’s a lifeline during their healing.. for others its something the feel they need for the rest of their lives..

Some people are willing to accept their diagnosis – I wasn’t. But there are people who have support systems that purely focus on accepting and ‘coping’ with their ‘illness, dwelling in their misery, believing every sacred word some ‘specialist’ says and never moving forward or changing.. Some play the blame game – I’ve been guilty of that, all it does is keep you a victim for far too long.

There are also people who never give up the search for answers.. who delve into heal their physical, emotional and physical selves

There is a reason for schizophrenia, for depression, for mental illness, for bipolar.. god the list goes on and on.. often they are serious reasons that you are yet to find out on your healing journey – so don’t accept yourself as mentally ill, or mentally weak or lazy, or unmotivated, or weak or less than anyone else.. Have the courage to keep searching and you will find the answers..

Basically you are ill at ease.. and you can be ‘ill at ease’ on all or many levels

For some people it is easier to be sick than to heal. Because healing you have to take responsibility for yourself and often you have to face your biggest fears.

It’s estimated 5% of people will actually heal themselves.

Those people would do whatever it takes to heal even if that meant leave their job, security, partner, family.

What are you really willing to lose in order to heal? Everything you think is safe?

You have to overcome fears to heal.. abandonment, survival, failure, your own potential etc..

Often healing means making huge changes, healing also means facing huge fears and dealing with great loss and pain.

Healing takes work…and it actually may take you years of mental pain and anguish to work through the emotional and spiritual side of what is causing the unbalance and ill at ease problems in your life.

It may not even be your fault it often stems from your childhood.. but still only you can ultimately heal yourself.

I spent a lot of years searching for what was ‘wrong with me’…

I allowed myself the time and space to heal. I went through every field, medical, natural health, spiritual guidance seeking… and refusing to believe depression was the natural state I was born to live in. I spent 5 years every week religiously with a therapist, I couldn’t work from the pain I was in and from feeling and processing so much. I refused medication and dealt with the pain. Although I did self medicate on sugar binges..

I’ve been thinking about some the labels and diagnosis’s I have been given. Doctors told me I didn’t have classic symptoms.

I have always been a rebel. I have never been a conformer and I read and read and read and learn maybe that’s what saved me..

Anyway

I was..

Chronically Depressed

M.E –  Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (This is what they diagnose anyone who is chronically fatigued and they don’t know why)..

Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (Got this one 2 years ago)

Dissociative

Hypervigilant

Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (another bullshit label..)

I must admit I spent my life avoiding the humiliating medical profession and delved into healing my spirit.

I don’t go to doctors and I haven’t taken a antibiotic in 20 years.. I did try anti depressants once and mild anti psychotics for c-ptsd but lasted one week with a fuck this shit attitude. Once lithium was offered. Maybe the lithium may have been better than the sugar binges. Sugar made me fat..

So have I functioned – no not really but through the pain and suffering I gained wisdom.

What was really making my spirit so depressed.

Was it my marriage, my career, my childhood, my historical past, some evil force – I searched everything

.. and as I searched I found everything.. and it was all of that.

What I found were the causes of my mood swings, my physical pain, my 47 yr depressed state, my isolation, my search of meaning in life, my chronic tiredness, my hypervigilance, my extreme sensitivities, my dissociation, my feeling like I don’t fit, my feelings of failure

I got from my 20+ years search, more answers than I could ever have imagined or believed..

And what I found out after my huge healing journey is that there is nothing wrong with me. 

I am unique, perfect and special just the way I am..

whether I have down days, hypervigilance etc..

My life has made me who I am today and I am amazing because of it..

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Characteristics Of Spiritual Maturity

What happens when you start owning your beingness

~ Things come to you more easily; more than that, you find yourself merging with people and situations that facilitate your expansion beyond imagination.

~ You still need to do things, but the common forcefulness diminishes.

~ You can focus your mind almost effortlessly on what you want to experience.

~ Most of the times you are calm, no matter how many things start breaking down around you, there is a voice that tells you not to worry, that everything unfolds exactly as it should.

~ You base your decisions on your gut instinct, and your intuition is more heightened than ever.

~ You still feel fear, negativity, distress, but they are no longer at the core of your life. What drives you now is an inner knowing that you came here to expand and create.

By 

6

Abuse/ Depression Weakens Your Ego

 How To Build A Stronger Ego
I was talking to a couple of people (a man and a woman)
from my meetup group a few days ago regarding money. Both felt money is not particularly important, they didn’t care for it much and both were happy day to day to help others voluntarily. Both are living on the bones of their ass. and like I did in the past receiving Government assistance because they suffer from depression and other mental health issues. One also works part-time as a carer to the elderly/ disabled for an agency, the other spiritually mentors people that need someone to talk to at the meetup groups she attends.
Both are good at what they do and have huge hearts.
They are two of the most genuine, spiritually aware and caring people I have ever met, and I like them very much.. but I can’t help but cry ‘bullshit’ over the money issue. To me it’s more that their ego’s have been weakened by chronic depression (and abuse)..
I have lived financially rich in a marriage with a guy that was all ego and I’ve lived ill and poor, on the benefit, living one day at a time relying on God and faith that I would eat that day and although it’s true I never starved, by the grace of God I somehow always got enough food and a little money (often magically!)…  both experiences sucked and were stressful!!  There is a balance between head and heart, ego and soul, money and poverty and healing brings about that balance.
I’m a highly spiritual person but I have big goals and I personally like money!
Choosing to settle for less is a choice (so I respect theirs). I have been in their position (so I get it) especially when I was dissociative (PTSD) because it’s impossible to focus and be grounded at those times.
But as I recover/ heal I don’t want to settle and live small, I want to take some risks in life. It’s not just about money, I want more from my life, more fun, more adventure, and I want to do good work and help people more than anything.
I feel they may be content enough to live like that but it wouldn’t fulfill me. It’s not that I need new clothes or a fancy car or a big house (had that and I was miserable) but just having money allows freedom. Life’s a little more exciting and a little easier, and you have greater options available to you.
I don’t believe this world is about Ego vs. Soul as many spiritual people believe, it’s about balance of the Ego and Soul.. it’s then that you have real power. It’s like co-creating with God, you take the action and he’s working behind the scenes to bring your dreams to fruition. There is nothing like having dreams with soul and having the energy and personal power to make them happen :o)
Any opinions ?
SG x
(check out this great article regarding ego by Steve Pavlina)
From Up North - fantastische inspiratie site... Alter Lego by Elia Colombo:

There’s a notion that’s been spread around the spiritual side of the self-help field that suggests one of our primary aims in life should be ego-less enlightenment, a state where we achieve near-perfect inner peace, where we’re one with everything but attached to nothing, and where nothing in the physical world can knock us off balance.

This creates some personal challenges for me because whenever I write about anything remotely spiritual in nature (and sometimes even when I don’t), some readers assume I’m one of the guys promoting this same sort of ideal. Then they question why my behavior doesn’t seem consistent with it.

My behavior isn’t consistent with the pursuit of ego-less enlightenment because I have no interest in that path. If other people find value in it, that’s their choice, but I find other paths of development to be much more practical and fulfilling, both for myself and for others I’ve observed over the years.

Do you really want to kill your ego?

Do you even want to weaken it?

In this case I’m using the word ego to refer to your physical world identity, mainly your personality and sense of self. I’m not referring to ego in the sense of being arrogant, such as when people say, “So-and-so has a big ego.”

Many spiritual seekers claim it’s wise to weaken the ego as much as possible. The ones who really go all out with this idea give away all their possessions, shave their heads, and spend their days meditating and doing chores, striving to burn away any last bits of attachment to their previous identities.

But most people who claim to pursue this path have mixed feelings about it, so they hold themselves in a state of limbo. They can’t get themselves to progress on the ego-empowering path, so they don’t take strong steps to advance in their careers or make much more money — that would be too ego-based for their spiritual beliefs. On the other hand, they can’t get themselves to relinquish all attachment to their identities and their stuff, so they strive to get by with a sense of minimalism. But they’re never really satisfied living in this halfway space, so quite often their “spiritual practice” devolves into attacking others they believe are more ego-based than they are. It temporarily makes them feel better about themselves.

Often the people stuck in this middle place maintain careers with pseudo-spiritual associations such as being a healer, massage therapist, yoga instructor, tarot card reader, astrologer, etc., but the one thing they usually have in common is that they’re borderline broke most of the time.

This is a very half-assed approach to enlightenment. From what I’ve observed in those who attempt it, it just doesn’t work. It leads to long-term stagnation. You can find whole communities of bloggers like this, and they seem to spend much of their time writing posts that express frustration and judgment at everything they dislike about the world. Meanwhile, they do nothing tangible to make the world any better.

You may want to question whether or not you really want to weaken your ego. Is that truly a wise idea? Sure it’s a popular piece of religious dogma, but is it really how you want to live? Does it even make sense?

Building a stronger ego

Instead of weakening your ego, let me suggest an alternative approach that works really well for me, one that will allow you to avoid stagnation… not to mention bitter blogger syndrome.

Build an even stronger ego.

Your ego is your character, an important part of your human avatar. If you try to weaken your ego, you’re simply weakening your character. Do you really want to devolve into a sidelined NPC (non-player character)? Or would you rather build out a really strong character with well-defined attributes?

How does it serve you — or anyone else — to play the game of life with a weak character? Are you really doing much good by checking out from life and cocooning yourself in a mini-monastery?

Instead of trying to weaken your ego, consider what good you might achieve with it instead. How would you like to develop your character during your time here on earth?

Let me offer you some ideas to get you thinking…

Character-building ideas

Honesty – See how honest and open you can make your character. Be honest in your dealings with others. Stop pretending and hiding who you are. Share yourself openly with the world.

Courage – Continually push yourself to face your fears instead of shrinking from them. This will give your character more options.

Exploration – Experiment. Learn by trial and error. Step into the unknown and learn by doing. Develop an ego that loves to dive in and explore new things.

Service – Tune your ego in the direction of serving others, such that the stronger your ego becomes, the more you push yourself to help people. Make service to others part of your identity.

Acceptance – When you accept yourself as having a strong ego, you’ll be more willing to accept other strong people into your life as well instead of feeling you need to attack the strong in order to justify your own weakness.

Discipline – Develop an ego that identifies itself with good habits like regular exercise and solid productivity.

Connection – Develop your social skills, so you can connect with others easily. Learn how to surround your ego with social support that helps to refine your positive character qualities while chipping away at your unwanted attributes.

Notice that since these are character qualities, they can’t be taken away from you. You may lose your possessions, job, relationships, etc., but your character qualities are yours to keep.

Intelligence, not enlightenment

My gold standard for conscious living isn’t enlightenment. It’s intelligence.

In this case I define intelligent living as having three main components:

1) Developing a progressively more accurate model of reality and living in accordance with it.

If you’re living intelligently, then as a general rule, you should find that life becomes progressively easier and your results get measurably better as your mental model of reality gradually becomes more accurate.

When you encounter a spiritual teacher who can’t pay his/her electric bill, I’d say something is off.

2) Deliberately engineering your social environment to actively support you in fulfilling your desires.

We humans are very social creatures. Your environment plays a huge role in your development. Unfortunately most of us find ourselves with rather unsupportive social circles when we try to stretch and grow. We have the power to change that, however. We can drop the connections that don’t support our continued development and invite new connections that do. This is a significant growth accelerator.

It isn’t intelligent to remain stuck with an unsupportive social circle. Place your loyalty not with your pity posse but with your highest vision of yourself, and surround yourself with people who can help you support that vision. The first step is to say no to connections with those people who reject your vision. Hang out with people who will help you develop a strong, positive, service-oriented ego, not a frustrated one.

Don’t become obsessed with trying to transcend your feelings towards people who consistently bring you down. Just drop the nay-sayers and move on. Saying “I’m done with you” once can be more effective than having to say “I forgive you” a dozen more times. This creates the space where new connections can come into your life, the kind that will have you saying, “Thank you so much!” dozens of times instead.

When you’re living intelligently, you won’t settle for social connections that drain you. You’ll consciously build ample social support and resources for pursuing your goals and fulfilling your desires. You will notice that over time, your life becomes increasingly abundant.

3) Getting stronger.

Intelligence seeks its own improvement.

If you’re on a path of intelligent living, you should find your character growing increasingly capable. You should see yourself progressively building courage and overcoming more and more fears such as fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of embarrassment, and fear of success. You’ll learn to stop giving your power away and take your foot off the brake pedal.

Engage with life

Checking out from life and trying to pursue ego-less enlightenment may be popular in certain spiritual circles, but it’s not a path I recommend, especially after witnessing the long-term results of many of the practitioners, not to mention the behind-the-scenes inconsistencies of certain proponents. It’s a path that can feel comforting at first because it gives you permission to avoid many of your fears instead of facing them. You can shrink away from life instead of boldly pushing yourself. You don’t have to stand out much. You can simply sit still and quiet your mind. There are many benefits to meditation of course, but don’t let the practice turn into escapism.

I think you’ll find it much more beneficial to relate to life on the basis of ego development as opposed to ego destruction.

Ego destruction is slow suicide. It’s yet another version of giving your power away. As long as “become ego-less” remains on your spiritual to-do list, you can use it to distract yourself from facing the real life challenges that scare you… like stretching yourself to go out and make a real difference in the world instead of escaping into the land of make-believe enlightenment.

Having a strong ego is not in conflict with inner peace. Inner peace doesn’t mean being passive. You can be quite active and engaged with life and still feel very peaceful and centered on your path.

Part of the reason ego-less living has so many people pushing it is that it’s a control strategy. People with strong egos are harder to control. If a religious leader wants to be surrounded by a bunch of loyal followers, it’s much easier to do that while encouraging all the followers to shed their egos. Then standing up to the leader can be called out as an act of ego and therefore something that the culture itself will repress, thereby keeping the leader in charge. However, this structure stunts the leader’s growth as well if the leader must pretend to be upholding the same ego-less standard that’s being preached to the followers.

Own your character

Again, having a strong ego doesn’t mean putting yourself above others. But it’s perfectly fine to take complete ownership of your character and express your pleasure with what you’ve developed so far. That’s much better than being secretly ashamed of your character, isn’t it?

There are limitless ways to grow your character, and where you take your character’s development is for you to decide. But when you catch yourself criticizing others for the choices they’ve made, consider that perhaps you’re giving your power away to them because you aren’t satisfied with the character development choices you’ve been making. Stop fussing over other people’s egos, and direct your attention back on your own to see where you need to improve.

When done consciously it can be fun to develop your character. You can shop from a vast menu of new skills to learn and character attributes to develop. Do you want to build a character who’s very brave? Very physical? Very social? Very musical? The choice is yours. You can even dress up your avatar with a little extra bling if you’d like.

When I blogged about fashion a few months ago, I saw comments from a few people on Twitter and Facebook to the effect of, Well, Steve… this is a rather ego-driven pursuit. And I thought, Well of course it is! Is that supposed to be a bad thing???

I’ve been writing this post from my hotel room in Puerto Rico. I’m here for a weeklong leadership retreat for the Transformational Leadership Council. When I got in late last night, I exchanged hugs with about a dozen TLC members in the lobby. Several of them gushed over how much they liked my new hair. By making a small change to my avatar, it created a fun shift in the way people relate to me, even people who already know me. But prior to making this change, I was one of those guys who could criticize others for fussing over their appearance. It took me a while to realize that I was giving my power away to others so as to avoid taking full ownership of my own avatar’s appearance.

It’s very easy to give our power away and use it to feed criticism of others. It’s much more challenging — but a lot more beneficial — to channel our power into creating what we desire, including the myriad ways we can develop our characters’ potential.

Are you taking full ownership of your character? Where do you catch yourself criticizing others for being too ego-driven? What does that say about the character attributes you’ve been refusing to develop in yourself? Are you bothered by people who are super confident, very focused, very attractive, financially abundant, successful in relationships, super healthy, etc? Stop giving your power away to other people’s egos, and reclaim 100% responsibility for developing those aspects of your own character. It will take time to be sure, but you won’t get there faster by succumbing to denial.

Even though your truest identity is the consciousness behind your ego and not the ego itself, that doesn’t invalidate the reasons for building a strong and capable ego as your primary means of interacting with the physical world. An underdeveloped ego won’t do your consciousness much good anyway; a weak ego will only limit the range of experiences that are possible for you, thereby stunting your conscious growth. So don’t be so quick to buy into the notion that ego-less enlightenment is an intelligent spiritual ideal. Consider that building a stronger ego may be the more intelligent, heart-centered choice for you.

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The Power Of Solitude

‘Solitude Is The Soul’s Holiday’

Okay, there was a time long ago, that I had completely ‘lost myself’. I had been so pre-occupied with my 4 children, husband, family, 4 pets and my mile long ‘to do’ list that anything I had wanted or needed had gone out the door. I was stressed to the max and in distress in my life.

Funny I’m at that point again in my life… ( Note to self: It’s a sign that you need to listen to your inner wisdom and that major changes need to be made)

.. Anyways this inner distress eventually led to complete burnout, so I was forced to stop, rest and change.

For the first time in my life I had to get help.. help to look after my 4 children and help with my home and my daily ‘to do’ list.

One of the first things I learnt from being unwell was that my husband was an incredibly selfish man ..

… and that I was incredibly self-less woman  (a.k.a – a complete martyr and doormat)..

During the many months I spent recovering it was in the solitary moments that I found myself again.

I began to remember what I ‘liked’, what I was really passionate about and what I really needed to be happy and fulfilled. I had the time to really listen to that still quiet voice inside me that was pushing me to ‘remember who I was’.

 I was forced by illness into that quietude, and now over the time and years solitude is something I need every day. It is an opportunity for me to connect with my inner wisdom, my thoughts and my soul.

The challenge is that sometimes I don’t want to know or hear what my soul/ inner wisdom is ever so gently trying to tell me ..  often I mess it up :o)

So the lessons .. well as usual I had many ..

.. but most important was time alone and reconnection to self is essential to my wellbeing.

Enjoy this article below on ‘The Lost Art of Solitude’

SilverGirl x

Quote ~ Maya Angelou

Solitude can be a much-to-be-desired condition.

Not only is it acceptable to be alone, at times it is positively wished for.

In silence we listen to ourselves and in the quietude we may even hear the voice of God.

“I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude. We are for the most part more lonely when we go abroad among men than when we stay in our chambers.” ~Henry David Thoreau

The Lost Art Of Solitude

Continue reading

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Eternal Soul & Ancestral Healing

Healing the Past Healing the Present

 Many people dealing with chronic health issues or mystery illnesses that don’t seem to heal may be able to find answers by looking into the past.

Our souls are eternal pure energy that cannot die only transform.

Energy has no beginning and no end- scientifically speaking; this is why reincarnation makes perfect sense.

You are not starting from a clean slate with this life.

A past that is not healed may be living within you, restless, mingled with your own energy. It works almost as if an actual person, with its own “independent” moods, cravings, desires, fears, and reactions to external circumstances in your life.

While this past is being you, at the same time a past-life is not you. It’s an aspect of your Soul, a spiritual cousin, that is related to you, but comes from another time, another awareness, other set of circumstances. You bear no responsibility over its actions — other than, as the current Soul carrier..  to heal it and bring closure to it, if your consciousness and choice allows you.

That’s your only responsibility over your past-lives.

The textbook example for this are phobias — such as the fear of drowning, or of enclosed spaces, public speaking, fear of your own potential, for example. Acute fears or blocks, maybe seemingly illogical, that may or may not have been awakened by an event in this life. But phobias are just the most glaring examples.

phobias. i have clinophobia. i think people dont usually quite grasp what a phobia truly is.. often it seems people think its simply a fear, when in actuality its much more than just a small fear..

Relationship failings and patterns, professional issues, emotionally charged reactions, and fears in general. All of these commonly stem from past-lives that are still “active”.

You may have hot buttons, that is, sensitive topics that when pushed leave you “out of yourself”. Guess who manifests when you’re out of yourself? When the wound is pressed it’s the past-life persona that comes forth and has a fit, if you will. And you’re overwhelmed by this violent reaction of fear, panic, anger, or other strong emotion, that you hardly can contain.

Now, since your moods, choices, actions, energy, and states of being, manifest in the reality all around you (usually know as “Law of Attraction”), you may be living events, emotions, and circumstances, in your life, that don’t necessarily relate to who you are today. Events that aren’t really yours, that have nothing to do with your current life, and thus that you really have no business living.

The past-life is stuck in its own time loop, in its own unsolved memory. As a result, you are stuck in the same cyclical patterns, repeating them over and over without progression.

I MUST remember this. maya angelou quote carol arvin bellingham psychotherapists

Very often the subject of past-lives is not just about curiosity. It’s something that urgently begs for healing and closure, for the sake of your own well-being. For you to finally move forward and prosper.

A past-life that is healed, on the other hand, has found its closure, and thus has no need to re-experience any further challenging situations. It has no desire to delve in the past, to re-experience everything over and over. It’s at peace. It comes from, it’s in a state of, Light, instead of feeding off your own emotional body and vital energies. And can offer you valuable insight and guidance when you need to. It’s a part of you, but one that is balanced and in tune with your true nature.


About Healing

Everyone is capable of intuitive insight. Some individuals do have gifts and skills that allow them to do specific things more easily than others. Basic intuitive skills are like a radio, or a black-and-white TV; a spiritual gift is seeing in colors, in HD. A gift is often the result of many lifetimes of training at soul level.

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When past-lives have any discernible interference over your moods and current life, they are meant to be healed. That is their main relevance.

Otherwise, there is absolutely no need to delve in the past.

Your past-lives are not meant to influence how you run your life today, or dictate your mood. If you have “hot buttons” – things you are very sensitive to, and when someone else pushes them you flip and react very emotionally — you may have an unresolved issue with a past-life. That’s often the case.

When someone pushes your buttons, the memory is activated, and at that moment it’s as if it’s your past-life character, and not you, reacting to the situation. You are “out of yourself”. It also usually means that such an issue can be tackled by recovering the past-live, understanding how it relates to who, and what can you learn from it.

If you are like the vast majority of people, you had hundreds of past-lives, or maybe more. Some of them maybe more active than others, depending on what you chose to experience in this life.


You do not have to know your past-lives. They are only meaningful insofar as they contribute something to your present moment in a constructive sense. Because truthfully, it’s only your present moment that really counts to you, it’s only your current focus of attention that matters. That’s what your Spirit wants you to know, what it wants you to do, where it wants to go, next.

Nevertheless, accessing your past-lives, be it by whichever means you do so, always has the purpose of healing, as well as of broadening your spiritual knowledge, both in general, and about yourself.