Letting Go Of The ‘Shoulds’

Overcoming depression by focusing what do you really want to do..

I have a huge ‘should’ list and it’s weighing me down. Actually my ‘should do’s’ often hang around not getting done. Maybe subconsciously I know they’re not important, but it seems not fully addressing them gives them some power to make me feel heavy.

We’ve all been conditioned to do what we should instead of what we really want or really need for our own well-being. Sometimes doing what we want or need seems illogical (based on conditioning)   .. and that plays in our mind and stops us from listening to our instincts and ploughing forward.

When I say wants, I’m not talking about whims.. I’m talking those things that will truly bring you peace, joy and happiness.

Most of the things I ‘should do’ are about family/ societal conditioning.  It’s no wonder I often feel torn about my direction and decisions in life. Often I feel damned if I do and damned if I don’t, and that causes paralysis.

If I question my activities on the basis of what I want and intuitively need to do rather than what I ‘should do’ I always have my answers.

The courage comes in just doing it regardless of what everyone else thinks, of pushing through and letting go of your own perceived guilt.

You feel so much lighter when you get rid of those monkey’s on your back..

‘Should do’s’ become burdens and we all need to drop the weight.

Below I’ve added an anonymous comment from a man regarding this topic – read on, it’s good..

SG x


This is something I wrote recently from my experience for a person who was suffering from depression. It maybe helpful..


Slowly peel off each layer of conditioning/expectation that has been accumulated since you were born.

To do this reexamine everything you do and check to see if you do it because you feel you “should” do it or because you genuinely want to (or intuitively need to).

Go back to that childlike state where you first look out for your own needs. Experience what it truly means to know what you want rather than what other people want you to be (or do). When you have reconnected with this person stay there a while to enjoy being this person and practice resisting the subtle and not so subtle influence of others to go back to that person you had been conditioned to become.

When you are sure you know the real you, out of this strength choose to do the things you really want or to help others out of your own volition rather than out of obligation or old feelings that you had. This will mean that each choice you make carries no feelings of resentment or guilt that can slowly build up and destroy you.

Always be on guard that you don’t fall back into the practice of doing things without awareness of your own true wants/ needs..

Always make a conscious decision to act because you choose to…not because any other misplaced emotion such as guilt or habit.