2

The Saboteur Archetype

(Everyone has this Archetype)

Light:

Highlights your fear of self-empowerment and the changes it would bring to your life.

Shadow:

Induces self-destructive behaviour or the desire to undermine others.

The Saboteur archetype is made up of the fears and issues related to low self-esteem that cause you to make choices in life that block your own empowerment and success.

As with the Victim and Prostitute, you need to face this powerful archetype that we all possess and make it an ally.

When you do, you will find that it calls your attention to situations in which you are in danger of being sabotaged, or of sabotaging yourself. Once you are comfortable with the Saboteur, you learn to hear and heed these warnings, saving yourself untold grief from making the same mistakes over and over.

Ignore it, and the shadow Saboteur will manifest in the form of self-destructive behavior or the desire to undermine others.

This may be the most difficult of all the archetypes to understand, because its name is associated with betrayal. Yet the purpose of this archetype is not to sabotage you, but to help you learn the many ways in which you undermine yourself.

How often do you set new plans in motion, only to end up standing in your own way because of the fears that undermine those optimistic plans. Or you begin a new relationship and then destroy it because you begin to imagine a painful outcome. You begin a working relationship with another person and find yourself once again in a power struggle that could be settled peacefully — but you fall into the same destructive pattern because you fear the other person.

To learn how to become aware of the action of the Saboteur within, ask yourself these questions:

  • What fears have the most authority over me? List three.
  • What happens when a fear overtakes me? Does it make me silent?
  • Do I allow people to speak for me?
  • Do I agree to some things out of fear that I otherwise would not agree to?
  • Have I let creative opportunities pass me by?
  • How conscious am I in the moment that I am sabotaging myself?
  • Am I able to recognize the Saboteur in others?
  • Would I be able to offer others advice about how to challenge one’s Saboteur? If so, what would it be?

myss.com

Movies Portraying ‘Saboteurs’

Watching movies related to one of your core archetype especially when going through the process of healing is a powerful tool to help you understand yourself (your motivations, your passions, your fears – why you behave the way you do).

SilverGirl

0

Keeping Yourself Safe

Escaping A Narcissist

The most dangerous time for a abused woman is when she leaves her abuser or threatens to leave.

Do not take this lightly. This is the time when most women are violently attacked or killed. Whether they have ever hit you or not is irrelevent, if he is controlling you and shows the warning signs below, he can be very dangerous.

The sudden fear of abandonment and his losing control of you .. can cause the narcissist to go into a ‘narcissistic rage’.

Have a plan, a strategy, take your time (my escape plan took 6 months of planning). Find a safe house, support, a counsellor who specializes in abuse and trauma – they can help with a plan prior to your escape and emotionally support you, go to a battered women’s shelter, have a talk, get advice, be smart, get into survival mode, save whatever money you can, sell things  – Remember psychological abuse is the same as physical abuse and shelters recognize this..  call an abused women’s support line, they are experts. Find the right help, someone who hears you and supports you. If they don’t take you seriously, find another. If they don’t understand the dangers of psychological abuse and narcissists – keep looking until you do find one that does… Don’t remain passive about your survival. When you have reached the point where leaving terrifies you but staying is a death sentence (your fear of staying is greater than your fear of leaving) – you need to start planning and if this means keeping secrets and hiding money for your own survival – so be it.

Remember baby steps..

You can escape, work on changing yourself and the reasons you attract narcissistic partners and have a better future.

I am happy to answers any questions for anyone in this situation.

If you intuitively know you could be in potential physical danger – watch the movies .. Fear with Reese Witherspoon, Enough with Jennifer Lopez, Sleeping with the Enemy with Julia Roberts. They helped me clearly see the danger I was in, and to be careful.

For some time I had to remove myself physically by getting my own place, but I had to wait until he found someone else before he would detach emotionally.

I never wanted to leave him, l did love him but for my own survival and sanity, leaving him was my only option. I sought professional help for my issues but that was never going to be an option for him.

We can dearly love and attract people who are not good for us, especially if we come from a history of childhood neglect, abuse or trauma. The key to change is to change yourself.

x I agree 100% with this. You may need a safety plan to get help. What this really means in practice is living a life in which you are becoming independant  enough(through education or work, learning to drive, saving a little money, saving clothes and your papers) to take care of yourself so when you leave you are stronger and can take care of your basic needs and that of your family.