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New Light

“Have you ever seen the dawn? Not a dawn groggy with lack of sleep or hectic with mindless obligations and you about to rush off on an early adventure or business, but full of deep silence and absolute clarity of perception? A dawning which you truly observe, degree by degree. It is the most amazing moment of birth. And more than anything it can spur you to action. Have a burning day.”
― Vera Nazarian

‘Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise’

1

Peace and Happiness

‘It’s important to make someone happy, and it’s important to start with yourself.’

A man came across a folded piece of paper while he was at San Francisco airport that said ‘read me‘ on the front.  How could anyone possibly resist that invitation?  He knew he just had to look.  So, he did.

And what he discovered inside was surprising and wonderful…

note from a stranger

This is what was inside… (scroll down to read a typed up version)

note from a stranger

“I recently left an emotionally abusive relationship After months of insults I wont repeat, false accusations, lies, delusions, broken mirrors, nightly battles…. I left. I know that I was being poisoned by each day that I stayed.

So with a heavy heart, I left my lover of three years, knowing that I had already put it off too long. At first he begged, then he cursed, but eventually he packed his bags and faded out of my life like a bad dream.

For the first few weeks, my body seemed to reject this. For three years I had seen the world through his-colored glasses. I didn’t know who I was without him. Despite the kindness of friends and even strangers. I could not help feeling utterly alone.But it was this sense of aloneness that set me free.

Somewhere along the way, I let go. I released all the painful memories, the names he had called me, the shards of him buried deep in my brain. I stopped believing the things he had made me think about myself. I began to see how extraordinary, breathtakingly beautiful life is. I meditated, drank too much coffee, talked to strangers, laughed at nothing. I wrote poetry and stopped to smell and photograph every flower.

Once I discovered that my happiness depends only on myself, nothing could hurt me anymore.I have found and continue to find peace. Each day I am closer to it than I was yesterday. I am a work in progress but I am full to the brim with gratitude and joy.

And so, since I have opened a new chapter in my life, I want to peacefully part with the contents of the last chapter. The end of my relationship was the catalyst for a wealth of positive changes in my life. It was a symbol, most importantly, it was an act of self-love. It was a realization that I deserved to be happy and I could choose to be.And so, in an effort to leave behind the things that do not help me grow, I am letting go of a relic from the painful past. I wore this necklace-a gift from him-every day for over two years.

To me, letting it go is a joyous declaration that I am moving forward with strength and grace and deep, lasting peace. Please accept this gift as a reminder that we all deserve happiness. Whoever you are, and whatever pain you have faced, I hope you find peace.

Namaste,
Jamie”

Leaving a toxic relationship isn’t easy, but it is most certainly possible.

Jamie’s letter shows that with courage and a measure of self-love, you can change your own life for the better, and find happiness in a way you might not of thought possible.

6

Letting Go

It’s 5 am.

I’m in bed in the dark typing away on my laptop. I’m crying. I’m so sad.

Sad doesn’t describe my sad.

I don’t have the words.

My nose is stuffed up and the tears have dripped down my face and on my dressing gown.

I’m letting go of something. What is it?

A dream I think.

A dream I had fought a long and hard battle for.

A dream that I cannot realize.

I’m not giving up the fight, I’m letting it go

Continuing the fight will only destroy me

I suppose there is finally a sense of peace

A sense of defeat

A sense of surrender

Accepting futility

Accepting reality

I adapt

I move on