The Orphan Child (Shadow)
Issues of Abandonment
The Orphan Child is the major character in most well known children’s stories, including Little Orphan Annie, the Matchstick Girl, Bambi, the Little Mermaid, Hansel and Gretel, Snow White, Cinderella, and many more.
*The pattern in these stories is reflected in the lives of people who feel from birth as if they are not a part of their family, including the family psyche or tribal spirit. Yet precisely because orphans are not allowed into the family circle, they have to develop independence early in life.
*The absence of family influences, attitudes, and traditions inspires or compels the Orphan Child to construct an inner reality based on personal judgment and experience.
Orphans who succeed at finding a path of survival on their own are celebrated in fairy tales and folk stories as having won a battle with a dark force, which symbolically represents the fear of surviving alone in this world.
*The shadow aspect manifests when orphans never recover from growing up outside the family circle. Feelings of abandonment and the scar tissue from family rejection stifle their maturation, often causing them to seek surrogate family structures in order to experience tribal union.
The Shadow Orphan / Narcissist Adult
The Orphan Child that never healed.
The ultimate survivor
Hypervigilance – uses this highly developed survival skill to ‘sense vulnerable’ people and willing victims (highly intuitive)
Suffers from PTSD and will dissociate (if abandoned suddenly) – Retains total control of surroundings and people in order to control these fears and completely avoid triggering these fears.
Dissociation feels like death to them – death of reality, death of their mind.
In order to quiet extreme fears of death.. will have ‘back up’ plans in case there is a threat of abandonment by their loved ones.
Loves but in an unhealthy way – confuses it with control, intensity and fear.
Psychic attachment to partner and surrogate family
Uses others for their own survival – emotionally, sexually, financially, physically, spiritually, psychically
Their needs become priority
R.A.D (Reactive Attachment Disorder – Adult)
Will never allow themselves to be abandoned or victimized again.
Mindset: Dog eat dog world
Ruled by fear – makes decisions based on fear
Blocked Heart Chakra (blocked due to trauma, abuse or neglect) – damaged heart = inability to feel empathy = inability to care
Chakra Imbalances –
(Lust over Love, Control of Others over Personal Power, Greed over Charity, Wrath over Peace, Pride over Modesty etc..)
‘Logically’ knows right from wrong – rape is wrong, murder is wrong… no concept of what constitutes emotional abuse
Inability to trust – due to childhood betrayal
(those that should have been capable of love, trust and protection weren’t) – eg. primary caregivers
Logic Rules – left brain..
Head based decision maker – not heart based
Logically justifies bad behavior – uses coercion techniques
Justifies victimizing the vulnerable – considers them weak, easy targets.
Logically it’s their own fault.