When Life Robs You..

Mental Illness

Mental Health is an industry..

An industry trying to sell an unsuspecting public on the idea that the way to ‘fix’ unwanted behaviour and feelings is with a brain chemistry altering pill.

These pills are now named ‘lifestyle’ drugs..

So now you can live your life in a way that is not ‘your truth’ and not feel too bad about it.

And after all if everybody’s doing it then it must be okay.

Maybe I have a problem with the way they are marketed, or that people use them long term without making changes in their lives.. believing their minds are deficient in some way..

So why do I felt so strongly …  because I suffered from chronic depression for 40+ years and I learnt a great deal..

The real problem is we were not born to be mindless sheep.. we were born to have personal power.

Some of us lost ours…  some very early on due to abuse, neglect, trauma, others guilt or bad decisions or a combination.

… life has robbed us..

I have always found people who experience depression or emotional, spiritual or psychological suffering to be deep thinkers, highly intelligent, visionaries, idealists, creatives, sensitives, salt of the earth types.

They ‘see’ things as they really are but all too often they remain passive to change anything. Often out of fear or that they allow themselves to get pulled along by the wolves of this world.

They fail to see the power they truly have and end up instead ‘willing victims’. They conform and lose their voice.

This causing internal unrest, distress and confusion- really a great lack of inner peace, as they are not being true to themselves or their beliefs or even who they really are..

Being a sheep is never a great option for those of vision.. that indeed would make you depressed, distressed, and have your mind fluctuating between what is right for you and what is wrong for you..

I have alway seen them as the sensitive good in an often evil world. I see them as people who have important gifts.

I just wish they could see themselves as that and get up, get constructively angry, look at the big picture on what they need to heal and go on to make their own small but significant mark in this crazy and often evil world.

Maybe they need that as motivation to get up, to heal their life, to change, to live their dream and to take back their personal power.. than some ‘lifestyle’ pill.

People suffering with depression and mental confusion need to allow themselves the time and space to heal. They need courage and encouragement, love, warmth, understanding, compassion, someone trustworthy to hear them, to look into their pasts, to gain self respect, self love, self compassion and self confidence and to take back their power.. and live their dreams.. whether that be to assist others in some healing way, bring beauty into this world, or love and compassion, make healthy changes in industry, politics, medical fields etc..

Your vision is needed..

Love and baby steps,



Letting Go Of The ‘Shoulds’

Overcoming depression by focusing what do you really want to do..

I have a huge ‘should’ list and it’s weighing me down. Actually my ‘should do’s’ often hang around not getting done. Maybe subconsciously I know they’re not important, but it seems not fully addressing them gives them some power to make me feel heavy.

We’ve all been conditioned to do what we should instead of what we really want or really need for our own well-being. Sometimes doing what we want or need seems illogical (based on conditioning)   .. and that plays in our mind and stops us from listening to our instincts and ploughing forward.

When I say wants, I’m not talking about whims.. I’m talking those things that will truly bring you peace, joy and happiness.

Most of the things I ‘should do’ are about family/ societal conditioning.  It’s no wonder I often feel torn about my direction and decisions in life. Often I feel damned if I do and damned if I don’t, and that causes paralysis.

If I question my activities on the basis of what I want and intuitively need to do rather than what I ‘should do’ I always have my answers.

The courage comes in just doing it regardless of what everyone else thinks, of pushing through and letting go of your own perceived guilt.

You feel so much lighter when you get rid of those monkey’s on your back..

‘Should do’s’ become burdens and we all need to drop the weight.

Below I’ve added an anonymous comment from a man regarding this topic – read on, it’s good..

SG x


This is something I wrote recently from my experience for a person who was suffering from depression. It maybe helpful..


Slowly peel off each layer of conditioning/expectation that has been accumulated since you were born.

To do this reexamine everything you do and check to see if you do it because you feel you “should” do it or because you genuinely want to (or intuitively need to).

Go back to that childlike state where you first look out for your own needs. Experience what it truly means to know what you want rather than what other people want you to be (or do). When you have reconnected with this person stay there a while to enjoy being this person and practice resisting the subtle and not so subtle influence of others to go back to that person you had been conditioned to become.

When you are sure you know the real you, out of this strength choose to do the things you really want or to help others out of your own volition rather than out of obligation or old feelings that you had. This will mean that each choice you make carries no feelings of resentment or guilt that can slowly build up and destroy you.

Always be on guard that you don’t fall back into the practice of doing things without awareness of your own true wants/ needs..

Always make a conscious decision to act because you choose to…not because any other misplaced emotion such as guilt or habit.


Causes And Cures For Lack Of Motivation


Most problems with motivation come from subconscious thought patterns. Interestingly, many of of these patterns are intended to motivate you.

The problem is, they are ineffective strategies learned long ago when you had no idea what was going on.

Other causes of poor motivation come from subconscious attachments to self-deprivation. Yes, you can become attached to a deprived, empty life, believe it or not. In this case, a life of passion isn’t familiar to you, so you avoid it.

Begin to set yourself free by learning about the ineffective motivation patterns that hold you back

Here are seven common motivational styles that are actually de-motivating – and what to do about each of them. Can you see yourself in one or more of the examples?

Continue reading


You Deserve Love…

… Including Your OwnCute way to draw a bear hug! You could say, "thinking of you" or "I love you", "get well", etc.

By Mary Snedon

Several years ago, I was in an unhealthy and unhappy relationship. It didn’t start out that way, of course. During the first year that we were together, I was in heaven. I was blissfully happy and everything seemed perfect.

My partner and I were so in love and happy just to be together; you couldn’t keep us apart.

It was years later that the trouble started. It was when my husband reconnected with a woman from his past that our marriage started to fall apart. It is hard to say if things would have fallen apart in time anyway, but this other woman certainly contributed to bringing us unstuck.

My husband told me that they had never been a couple, but that he used to be extremely attracted to this woman. She had recently moved to our city so he offered to help her out and get her familiar with the surroundings. I thought nothing of it at first because I thought I could trust my partner completely.

Eventually though, I noticed that he was spending more time with her, and when I would ask him about it, he always made it seem like I was a bad person for being suspicious.

I started reading messages on his phone when he was asleep because my gut instinct was telling me that something was not right.

When I confronted him with the incriminating messages, he got very angry. He denied everything and berated me for having so little faith in him. All of this made me quite depressed, and eventually I became very bitter. We were fighting almost constantly over the smallest things.

I was bitter with the world and, yes, I became bitter with myself. I did not like the person I had become.

I was always stressed out, suspicious, and unhappy. I blamed myself for the status of our relationship. I started believing that I was the one at fault and that he was the injured party.

After some time, his affair with the woman finally came to light and we broke up. Even after having confirmed that all my suspicions were correct and that I had done myself a favor by ending the relationship, I was still extremely unhappy. I still carried a lot of bitterness inside me.

I could not understand why something so bad could happen to a good person like me. I was angry with my ex and was equally angry at the world.

The recurring question I had in my head was, “What is love, and what on earth did I do to deserve this?”

Then one day, I just felt so exhausted by all the negativity inside me. I remembered a book I once read about attracting positivity from the universe by becoming a more positive person. From that moment on, I resolved to take control of my life.

I realized that I was ultimately responsible for all the unhappiness and bitterness I was feeling.

I needed to forgive myself for having stayed in an unhealthy relationship for far too long. I needed to free myself of unrealistic expectations and get on with my life and all that it had to offer.

As soon as I started doing this, things immediately began to change.

I discovered things about myself that I didn’t even know existed and I realized that there was a lot to love about myself and about life in general. I focused on always fighting for the positive view no matter what the situation was.

I studied a lot about positivity and negativity, but what really helped was a deep, psychological understanding about humans and why we are the way we are—why we are so insecure and what drives that. What creates the turmoil, the guilt, the unfairness of life, the anger, and the meanness.

When I understood the deeper reasoning for my actions and reactions, it soon became apparent that the problem was not the cheating and the marriage break down. Sure, this hurt and was an enormous catalyst, but all the self-doubt, insecurity, and unhappiness were already there under the surface.

If it weren’t the marriage, then my insecurities, pain, and upset would have come out in another life drama.

When I understood where my insecurities of worry were anchored, I could then deal with everyday emotions of negativity by seeing them for what they were.

I could see that it wasn’t my circumstances that made me feel unhappy, negative, and resentful. They just took me to a fearful place in myself. What I needed to do was learn how to deal with those situations in a healthy way.

I’ve learned that stamping your feet and flailing your arms at the unfairness doesn’t solve anything; slopping around in life’s negative emotions hurts nobody but yourself.

So when my husband’s lying and leaving me made me feel worthless, unlovable, and lonely, I soon recognized that those feelings were what had underpinned all that I had wrested with all my life. Thatwas actually how I felt about everything.

I was actually very needy because I was so afraid of being alone because it made me feel unworthy and unlovable. Once I came to recognize this, I was able to start to bring love and understanding back into the equation.

When I was alone and the feelings of being unlovable and unworthy came up, I would go back to what I learned about myself. I’d talk myself through what I’d learned about being completely lovable and worthy of love.

Once I had this understanding of myself under my belt my heart was then open and free to find love again. Sure enough, I did find love again, and this time it was the kind of love that lasts.

Because I had learned so much about myself, the relationship was not based on my need to fulfill an unfulfilled heart. This time I was able to be loved for me, all of me, and enjoy it and not be desperate for the love.

And above all I was actually free enough to love too. I had more to give, as I wasn’t so preoccupied with trying to be loved. It turned out to be the kind of love that leads to a long, happy, healthy marriage.

Now, all the pain of the past can almost be seen as a blessing. It has led me to the most wonderful time in my life where I am not so much hopelessly in love, but I am so fulfilled and content in myself that I have never felt happier.

This positive love that now fills my heart and my world is available to every single one of us.

Opening our hearts and minds to love and positive space is the key to a life of love.  Understanding who we are, that we are lovable and worthy of love allows us to love and be loved.

I urge you to learn about yourself—your past, your emotions, your reactions. Honesty is key. You have to face up to who you are, which can be very difficult. Imagine me, a confident, organized, highly functioning executive discovering my life was run on an urge to prove I’m worthy of love. That was a hard one!

But if you can deeply connect with the real you, who wants, needs, and above all deserves to be loved, a freedom lies ahead that is beautiful to behold.


Taking Back My Power!

....take back your Power.....  www.charansurdhar.com #epigenetics #personalpower

Something I need to remember over the next couple of months..

I have the power within me to change my circumstances, my life, my current reality.

I am the creator of my current life experience.

Until I accept responsibility for what I have created, I cannot change it. And I cannot change it if I do not believe that I have the power to do so.

Belief / Trust / Faith is the key.

Belief, trust, faith in what? …

… In myself.

I am not alone… Part of me is here in the human realm, and the other part of my Self exists in the higher realms. I am not alone and I never have been.

Nothing is impossible! Nothingno Thing! Except what I believe is not possible!

I can choose now if I wish  the old paradigm to be my living experience, and I can continue living in ‘victim mode’ or I can decide now to move into the new paradigm.

The choice is always mine.

Life is not meant to be a struggle, it is meant to be joyful.

Now is the time for me to summon my power and put my authority into action and transform my intentions into reality.


Procrastination = Solar Plexus Deficiency

Signs of Solar Plexus Deficiency:
Weak Will
Low Motivation
Low Energy
Poor Self Discipline
Victim Mentality
Emotionally & Physically Cold
Blaming of Others
Poor Digestion
The Solar Plexus Chakra deals with growth and pertains to issues of the:
 Intellect, Personal Power and Control
 When balanced you are able to take action and meet challenges, you feel confident, have self acceptance, and respect for the nature and emotions of others. You are responsible, reliable and have a good sense of humour.
 Ways to Balance your Solar Plexus Chakra when Deficient:
Mentally – Affirmations – “I am positively empowered and successful in all my ventures”
Physically Exercise – Strengthen core muscles
Emotionally – Examine your self esteem, confidence and self respect with a a counsellor.