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Heeding The Call

I’m feeling a pull today.

The pull is demanding action from me.

I can’t hear anything – it’s just a knowing.

It’s strong.

Damn – it’s time isn’t it.

I had hoped it was all a dream.

I want to sleep, hide, run, keep warm, avoid.

For ten years I have done just that.

Trying to hold onto my life, my family, my reality.

Was what I saw real?

I remember now, I accepted something..

Damn – what a fool!

I don’t want this..  not little old me.

Damn soul.

 I have lost everything I love trying to hold on, keep safe, control my life.

I have lost people’s respect trying to play small.

I tried hard to make my life ‘normal’.

I wanted normal.

Damn again.

I am reluctant.

I am scared.

But I’ve run out of choices.

It must be big to have paralyzed me for ten years.

It’s all my dreams and fears combined.

I know I can do some good

I guess it’s time

I guess I’m ready

I guess I’m brave

I guess I’m strong

I know I’m not alone.

There are others feeling the same way.

I hope I find them soon

My kin

My family

Because I need you,

I think we need each other.