Well I’ve contacted a woman who helps people who are intensely intuitive.
I need the help and the guidance because it really stresses me out. It’s literally ruining my life, it’s painful and causing me to isolate. And I’m often unintentionally hurting people more than helping people with what I sense/ feel.
I have met this woman counsellor before and she is kind and definitely safe (my old therapist referred me to her a few years back) but I lost her contact details and have just found her again on FB.
The last thing that I remember her saying to me, is that I needed to love humanity (all of humanity) everybody warts and all, the good, bad and down right evil as it will help with this gift/ curse. It’s about overcoming my ‘wounded child’ and that healing that side of me comes from a place of forgiveness, genuine understanding and love..
Well I do feel I have come to the place that I love all of humanity (warts and all) – so maybe the timing on finding her is perfect.
She also mentioned that I have the capacity to be a healer – but I don’t want to be a healer – I did once but now I just want to be happy. Being a healer is just too painful and too hard!! I want less stress and more joy in my life :o)
I know why I am intensely intuitive – First – it runs in my family (Pretty sure from the cycle of abuse..)
Second – childhood dissociation, hypervigilance and trauma.
Thirdly – I’m female
.. And according to what I’ve read recently the fourth thing that causes intense psychic ability is being a twin.. no I’m not a twin (but who knows maybe it was something my mother never mentioned regarding my birth!! .. )
So what I want .. I want this so called gift to go away or at least become way less intense… or that I can find a way to cope with it and find a useful and balanced outlet for it because it’s too strong. It gives me headaches…
I’m trying to focus on practicalities in my own life to take my mind of it. My house is starting to look organized and beautiful again. Instead of expensive furniture and decor, I now have Charity Shop retro finds but I think I like it even better :o). The event business will be online by next week and my son and I have started a lifestyle blog – food, styling, living etc.. So I do feel very grounded.. but I am also not mixing with people..
I will only mix with people who I feel ‘safe’ with – no anxiety or bad vibes..
Regarding psychic ability it angers me that abuse can do this to a person.. it’s easy to handle normal instincts and avoid people who you get negative vibes from but for the intensely intuitive we get the whole painful story.. and the negative emotions they feel. Unless you experience this you will never understand – it’s often confusing as I can pick it up things even when I’m not near them.. I can sense energy from a long distance.
I also find people are not at all comfortable with a person that senses how they feel, or if they’re lying, or their past or their secrets… :o( and I suppose that is fair enough.
I have personally experienced it with my cousin (she’s highly intuitive).. out of the blue she told me things about myself and all it did was ‘piss me off’. It felt like it was a breach of some sort of spiritual privacy act.. and maybe that’s what it is … but I do know she meant well and meant to help me in some way..
It is most intense when I am stressed or fearful, but with people I feel safe with it’s not overwhelming at all and I use it more from a place of love and compassion.
Maybe that’s the lesson…
Maybe she can teach me how to handle it and protect myself from picking up too much..
Reading a recent post on psychic ability, people who can see the past and potential future in others etc.. are ‘intensely psychic’ … and apparently many commit suicide because it’s too overwhelming… not good news :o(
Hopefully I can either get rid of it or learn to manage/ use it in a healthy non-hurtful way.
Love & baby steps,