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PSYCHIATRY ALMOST DROVE ME CRAZY

 

Great article by Paul Levy (a pioneer in the field of spiritual emergence, and a healer in private practice) regarding psychiatric abuse (psychiatry’s invalidation of trauma and protection of the abuser). Psychiatry makes the sane ones.. the sick ones, the invalids (the in-valids).

SG x

I am a survivor of severe psychiatric abuse. There was a year or so in the early 1980’s when I was in and out of psychiatric hospitals at least four times. During my visits to the hospital I was in the midst of a spiritual awakening that I was struggling to contain that was triggered and complicated by extreme psychological abuse at the hands of my father, who was a very sick man. I was suffering so deeply from the psychic violence perpetrated upon my mother and me by my father that it was making me “sick.” One of the most difficult parts of my ordeal in the hospitals was not being listened to by the psychiatrists, either about the abuse by my father or the spiritual awakening. Spiritual emergences/emergencies oftentimes become activated because of a deep experience of wounding, abuse, or trauma. In its initial stage, a spiritual awakening can look like and mimic a nervous breakdown, as our habitual structures of holding ourselves together fall apart and break down so that a deeper and more coherent expression of our intrinsic wholeness can emerge. The spiritual awakening aspect of my experience was so off psychiatry’s map that it wasn’t even remotely recognized. Instead of hearing me, about either the abuse or the awakening, I was immediately pathologized and labeled as the sick one. Being cast in the role of the “identified patient,” I was assured that I was going to be mentally ill for the rest of my days, as if I was being given a life sentence with no possibility for parole, with no time off for good behavior. The fact that I wanted to dialogue about this and question their diagnosis was proof, to the psychiatrists in charge of me, of my illness. The whole thing was totally nuts. Fully licensed and certified by the state, the psychiatric system’s abuse of its position of power was truly unconscionable. What the profession of psychiatry was unconsciously en-acting was truly crazy-making for those under their dominion. I was lucky to escape the psychiatric world with my sanity intact. Many others are not so fortunate.

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Do The Reverse – Break Your Cycle

Let ‘joy’ in..showing parts of the face can be a great idea with unfold with hold.I feel heartbroken. When I feel like this, I seem to fall into a pattern. I feel cold and I want to take a bath, I want to eat comforting foods in large proportions, I want a blanket to snuggle up in, maybe I’ll watch a movie that cheers me up, or maybe crawl into bed and attempt to sleep away my sadness.

A large part of my life (the majority) I have felt sad. After watching the movie ‘Inside Out’ I guess it would be true to say my dominant emotion developed in childhood is sadness or depression .. and not much gets done on sad days..

But what if I change my pattern. When I’m heartbroken or sad, what if I do things differently.. what if I get up and clean my house, walk my dog, put beautiful calming or re-energizing music on my ipod, what if I choose to react differently and to change my life long pattern (my programme..)

Being hurt is part of life. People will hurt me.. intentionally or not, I cannot avoid that, but I can change my reaction. I can be sad but I don’t have to drown.. or let it sink me.

I believe we are programmed from childhood (see movie ‘inside Out’) and those of us with too many sad, traumatic or painful early childhood memories lose the ability to manage our emotions well, restore our equilibrium and find the positivity in life and the joy in things.. We lose our balance and we are triggered again and again towards those old feelings of sadness.

Low level sadness becomes our normal..

In adult hood we have to ‘change our programming’ and actively let positivity and joy into our life.

So I’m going to fight the overwhelming urge to eat and sleep. It’s not working for me and as much as I know it’s not my fault that I behave this way, it’s not making my life better or easier.

I know I want more and I know I deserve a better life. I’m going to get up and seek something healthier and joyful. A friend, a park, a beach, a walk,  a drive, clean the windows, wash the linen, get in the garden.. something active instead of passive..

I’ve got a little metal sculpture of a woman with her arms outstretched standing at the top of a pinnacle. I’m going to put it next to my bed as a reminder to change my programme and to choose something healthier…

Something has to change..

And it’s my visual reminder to change my programme.

Love & baby steps,

SG x