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Letting Go Of Illness

 I believe the day we are ready to let go of our illness is the day we heal.

Healing comes when you’re ready to let go of the need of your ‘mental illness’ label and step into your power and purpose. Your generational history is the fire that feeds your soul.

~ SilverGirl

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Silent Rage And What To Do About It

Anger Management


Silent rage is no secret, even though it’s silent. Most communication is nonverbal, and you can rest assured that your eyes, expressions, voice tone and mannerisms are communicating your suppressed rage and anger.

Keeping it inside is certainly better than exploding on someone, it’s just not a long term solution. silent rageIt got this way because you don’t know what to do about your anger, andit just kept building.

It’s time to take care of this, before it gets much worse. There are answers here, and you can take the necessary steps. You’ve got what it takes to get the job done.


 

Where Does Silent Rage Come From?

 

It never “comes out of nowhere” like a lot of people think. There is always a reason for all kinds of anger, including rage.

So, what is rage and how is it different from plain old anger? Good question. Rage is a result of a lot of anger, pain, confusion, feelings of helplessness and a little bit of “I don’t care any more.”That’s why it’s so dangerous. Let’s look at where it comes from:

    • You were hurt somehow, and your wounds never healed.

 

    • You feel like nobody really understands, or cares.

 

    • Your needs have not been met, and you’re very, very frustrated.

 

    • You may feel very justified in your thoughts and feelings at a certain level.

 

  • You give way too much attention to the things that infuriate you, and give you a negative view of the world.

It’s only silent because you’re afraid of what will happen if you let it out. You’re not a bad person, and you really don’t want to harm anyone…but the rage kind of makes you crazy. That’s the way rage works.

silent rage

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Three Steps To Deal With Silent Rage

 

The only reason you’re still reading this is because you have some hope that things can get better. You are tired of the silent rage, and you don’t want it to explode or turn into an illness.

You’re a good person, and that’s why you don’t like all of the anger inside. So, here are the steps:

    1. First, the wounds have to be healed. Review the ways in which you were hurt, starting in your childhood and leading up to today. Include major losses, and unmet needs. Write it all down. This has been found to be healing, all by itself. If you feel you need more help, search this site, or seek counseling for further support in your healing.

 

    1. The next step is to begin to learn to love yourself. I know, this is a tall order, but you can do it. One of the reasons your rage is silent is that you have a good heart and you don’t want it coming out and hurting those you love.

 

  1. Finally, you need to shift your mental focus to what is good, right and working about you and the world around you. This Goodfinding journaling process will help you with that.

You’ve already taken some important steps to healing silent rage, just by being with me at this point.

You can do this. You have the will and determination and good heart right there inside you.

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The Crazy Mental Health ‘Industry’

Why healers are needed

Is free thinking a mental illness?

Take a relatively new mental illness ‘label’ called “oppositional defiant disorder” or ODD.  Defined as an “ongoing pattern of disobedient, hostile and defiant behavior,” symptoms include questioning authority, negativity, defiance, argumentativeness, and being easily annoyed.

Once that was a ‘personality trait’ called a rebel (or a revolutionary, political protester, nonconformist). Someone who challenges authority to effect social change, or rejects spiritual systems that do not serve inner needs.

In the last 50 years, the DSM-IV has gone from 130 to 357 mental illnesses. WTF.. Just a question.. are new “mental illnesses” created for political repression?

And why does the media portray mental illness as dangerous, when the people I’ve met with bipolar, depression, OCD, PTSD, schizophrenia or who have experienced a spiritual crisis have been the most aware, intelligent, creative, caring, gentle and soulful people I have ever met.

It’s a shame they are duped to believe they are ‘sick’ instead of sensitive, and that they need meds when the majority would do well with loving support, gentle guidance, someone who listens and cares and the time to heal.

In 2013 an estimated 44 million adults in the US had any mental illness, and 10 million suffered from a serious mental illness in the past year.

According to a study, the general population believe the cause of mental illness is childhood abuse, trauma, adult life crisis, or series of difficult events like loss of income, poverty, death of a loved one, trauma etc..  but according to the medical society it is due to a serious brain chemical imbalance. (To me any brain imbalance is by far a secondary issue and should be treated as secondary).

New mental illnesses identified by the DSM-IV include arrogance, narcissism, above-average creativity, cynicism, and antisocial behavior!  In the past, these were called “personality traits,” but now they’re diseases.

Are these symptoms of a culture over-diagnosing and overmedicating?

A Washington Post article observed that, if Mozart were born today, he would be diagnosed with ADD and “medicated into barren normality”.

Jesus would have above average creativity (as an illness), dissociative disorder, schizophrenia, God complex, schizoaffective disorder, and not considered a spiritual teacher or on a shamanic path. He would also be medicated to barren ‘normality’.

What is normal?

Are we being mentally and spiritually oppressed? Is our culture pro-healing? Does our culture accept freethinkers, or are we just barely out of the dark ages?

According to the DSM-IV, the diagnosis guidelines for identifying oppositional defiant disorder are for children, but adults can just as easily suffer from the disease.  This should give any freethinkers reason for worry.?

As an example, the Soviet Union used new “mental illnesses” for political repression.  People who didn’t accept the beliefs of the Communist Party developed a new type of schizophrenia.  They suffered from the delusion of believing communism was wrong.  They were isolated, forcefully medicated, and put through repressive “therapy” to bring them back to sanity.

When the last edition of the DSM-IV was published, identifying the symptoms of various mental illnesses in children, there was a jump in the diagnosis and medication of children.

Some American states have laws that allow protective agencies to forcibly medicate, and even make it a punishable crime to withhold medication.  This paints a chilling picture for those of us who are nonconformists.

The labeling of freethinking and nonconformity as mental illnesses has a lot of potential for abuse.  It can easily become a weapon in the arsenal of a repressive state, and the media only feeds that picture with fear. ‘Out of control’ mentally ill people go on shooting sprees. The real fact is that ‘mentally ill’ people are much more likely to have been the victims of violence than the perpetrators of community violence.

So what is this all about.. fear, corporate greed, political control, lack of compassion, the easiest fix for a difficult problem, or that those with no heart (empathy) or wisdom are in control..they do say that sociopaths/ narcissists are always at the corporate top, and that sociopaths don’t suffer from mental illness because they’re the ones that cause it in everyone else .

Any opinions..

To me it’s those that have suffered and healed who can help change this crazy system. As we heal, we are the educators and healers. It’s time to shine a light and get out of the dark ages..

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The Verbally Abusive Relationship

“The great tragedy in a verbally abusive relationship is that the partner’s efforts to bring reconciliation, mutual understanding and intimacy are rejected out of hand by the abuser because to him they are adversarial. This is so because if he isn’t feeling power over his partner, he is feeling that she must be trying to overpower him. There is no mutuality in his reality.”

~ The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans

not letting it out:

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Looking And Feeling My Best

Healing my body – RAW POWER!

After many years of eating predominantly protein and unprocessed foods, I’ve gone raw vegan (just for around 6 months) to alkalize my body (give it a good clean out!). So far it hasn’t been hard to do as I feel strongly this is the next step in my recovery.

It’s day 17 and I can’t say I’m feeling that great or energized but I already look so much better. I’ve lost some weight and my skin is smoother and I look a little younger. I really love looking better and losing some weight. It makes getting dressed and choosing clothes much more exciting!

 Last time I went raw I felt terrible for the first 6 weeks. I’m really glad I pushed through it because after that I felt amazing, positive, energized, l lost weight and was glowing with good health. I really felt radiant.

My expensive blender has broken down :o( so I’m just eating fruit and salads with lots of avocados. Just grazing all day whenever I feel hungry. It’s pretty boring so far, at least with a blender you can add smoothies, frozen banana ice-cream, dips, nut butters etc.. (I miss my blender! Hard to go raw without it!)

 Last night I added some raw nuts and goji berries and I’ll make some chia pudding for breakfast (need a little more variety!!)

As for exercise I’m just strolling along the beach in the evening (more getting fresh air than exercise). When I feel over this detoxing stage  I’ll add some light weights and some brisker walks or maybe buy a cheap second-hand bike and start cycling.

Going raw helps heal your immune system after years of stress, it alkalizes your body, gets rid of inflammatory issues, like arthritis etc.. It energizes you and makes your skin glow with vitality.

I believe it’s only something you should do when you are ready. I’ve spent years healing emotionally, mentally and spiritually and I feel the time is right. Many people go raw when they are highly stressed or still have emotional work to do. It’s fine but I have noticed many tend to get sick rather than healthy or they can’t maintain this way of eating it for long.

I think eating meat (protein) and reducing all processed foods is essential and the best way to eat when really stressed or for the initial process of healing (especially if you have sugar addictions.. or any addictions).

After 6 months, I’ll go vegan and add cooked food (YUM!!)

I believe in living and loving your food, and I don’t believe in being too extreme. This is more a one off super cleanse. The years of stress have taken a toll on my body and physical health and I want to look and feel my best.

Love and baby steps

SG x

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Honest Communication

“Many people will not be honest because they fear loss of intimacy and togetherness. In reality, honesty brings people closer together, for it will strengthen their identities. The more you realize your separate identities, the closer you can become. Telling loved ones what is really on your mind and telling others what you really think is the foundation of love.”

~ Changes That Heal by Henry Cloud & John Townsend

5 Things You Should Never Lie About.:

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The Challenges Of Meeting New People

Trying to make opposite sex friends after abusive or codependent relationships

Yesterday I went to the anxiety group meetup and ending up sitting outside with 5 men. Quite a big deal for someone who had a fear of men..

We spent 6 hours together (which was too long but I guess most of us have little to go home to, and were enjoying the connection..)

It was fun, until later when it sank in.

By the time we all left I was feeling fine but I noticed the guys all looked worse for wear. Oops…

Their energy was low and they looked drained. I felt little responsible for what started off as a light and jovial energy (6 hours is a long time for anyone to sit around talking though..)

I actually felt responsible for their emotional state….?? Why did I feel that? Somewhere along the line it got deep, and I’m pretty sure I took it there, but they could have left. They chose to express themselves. So why do I feel I have to leave people feeling they are uplifted and upbeat from talking to me .. I know I find it way harder to see a man in emotional pain than a woman.

Later in the evening I ended up with a headache wondering what had occurred.. then I didn’t sleep (thinking.. thinking.. thinking..) It’s a tape I’m not turning off easily. Suddenly all their words came back to me..

I took a long bath, I did a relaxation technique. I felt a little calmer but still unable to unwind.

I felt neurotic letting this screw me up.

Next day I missed the early morning market because of the fatigue (damn, needed the money..) and then I stayed in today with a migraine from lack of sleep. It’s now 8.30 pm and after processing all that went on in those 6 hours I feel only slightly better.

So what went on.

Well, for a start I have I avoided men like the plague. For 6 years I have almost been in hiding in order to ‘keep safe’, grow stronger, heal and not attract another narcissistic man. Only in the last few weeks have I got out and started being friendly towards men (instead of scared, avoidant and cool). Fact is I was terrified of attracting one. But I am finally feeling completely safe in myself and in my intuition that I can be friendly. make friends and protect myself from the predatory types.

I am an open person, I talk about the deeper stuff and this made it easier for the men to talk about the deeper stuff too. I don’t think they usually do that.

I never acted like a therapist, I wasn’t offering advice or judging. I was just being me and talking. (Maybe I don’t have much of a life and this ‘stuff’ is all I have to talk about).

We found out we are all from dysfunctional families. One guy had young alcoholic parents who split up, one had a mother who had a psychotic break, another had a schizophrenic mother. We all were neglected in some form or other. One had a spiritual emergency at 15 and went through mental health, one has OCD, another was in a serious car accident as a teen and was left nearly paralyzed.

There were some boundary issues, too much advice, a fair amount of judgement ..

A couple of the men listened to my story and then related their own feelings regarding their own mothers on me. I just listened and didn’t react. I realize not to take what they say personally, because it’s not personal, they were just re-living their pain and projecting it on me.

I do know I don’t want to reject them, I don’t want to run from people anymore. I want to accept people.

Two were very forward regarding their attraction towards me. In the real world I’m pretty invisible but they made me feel like hot property. I didn’t feel flattered, because it isn’t really real and it gets in the way of making healthy friendships. One guy was aggressive in his approach the other more frustrated and I get the sense if I’m not willing to be what he wants/ needs he’ll end up rejecting me, almost like he’s created an illusion of me in his own mind.

The aggressive guy was just hoping to hook up with a vulnerable woman to fix all his problems. He’s easy to deal with him. But the frustrated guy I really like as a friend, he’s got a great heart. I have considered messaging him to discuss things a little and set a friendly boundary.

Truth is I don’t want to date, I’m far from it. I just want make deeper healthier connections and friendships. Everyone is painfully misunderstood and painfully lonely. Everyone wants a loving relationship you can feel that, but for now close friendships are loving relationships.

It’s challenging though, maybe I just rehashed the past for everyone.. Ughh!

I’m still questioning whether to go again, or whether the answers lie in staying, setting boundaries with them and with myself, healthy open communication, and that all this is actually very healing even if a little painful at times.

Maybe it’s okay that they opened up and experienced some pain. I guess my fear is that they’ll avoid me as the woman who made them feel too much and brought the energy down :o(

Hopefully I’ll feel better and clearer about things as the migraine clears, as you can see I feel and think a great deal!

I’ll try to focus on my life today. Maybe get in the garden.

Writing it out is therapeutic though and I’ll try to be gentle on myself this is a new experience for me, and maybe for them.

Love SG x