“When I was a child, I didn’t have power over very many things. I didn’t decide when people would hurt me and I couldn’t make it stop. I couldn’t make my mom pay attention to me. But I did find solace in a few things like food. So escaping the pain through food gave me some sense of comfort and control. Back then, that was my only choice. There was no way to improve my life in any real way so numbing the pain was the only option. My goal in life became to go in the opposite direction of the pain since I couldn’t succeed at anything else.”
~ The Rescued Soul by Christina Enevoldsen
I find I can get myself out of dark times so much faster. The writing helps. I’m calmer and gentler with myself. I allow the initial confusion and processing over what I’m feeling.
All this feeling is okay. I’m growing and understanding my emotional messages and gaining emotional strength.
Even though it may not seem like it, being sensitive is my greatest gift. I can now shake it all off, refocus and do something nice today.
Today I feel tired. I look at how far I still have to go and it makes me feel tired. Maybe I should feel excited or proud or maybe I should be happy in this moment.
But I don’t, not today anyway.
So, what is that far off elusive land I’m seeking?…
I think it’s a place that is less stressful than where I am at present.. We all dream of an easier life, and today I just want a helicopter to pick me up and drop me off there :o)
I feel I have been trying to overcome things my whole life.. I’m tired
Hopefully tomorrow I’ll feel better and quit the negative and ‘stinking thinking’ and set back out on my path feeling positive again about my future and my direction
But for today allow me to wallow in my self pity because all I can see is all I still have to overcome..
Even quotes can’t pick me up today…
“Life is not about the destination, it’s about the journey..”
Yeah right … blah blah blah :o)
There are some good things happening in my life, my small event business is starting to look amazing!!
I’m going to take a bath, make a hot tea and lemon and then watch an uplifting movie..
We all have bad days.. I guess it depends on me how long I choose to wallow in it..
Love and baby steps
Writing helps but not today… whatever I pour on this page will not release my feelings. I accept I’m sad, I have good reason to be and that’s okay.
I can be sad and still get things done today .. or maybe I’ll just eat ice cream and rent a funny movie – what is it with women, sadness and ice cream?
Contemplation . Meloncholy