Fear Based Depression

Not all depression is based on fear, but depression can be a sign that on a deeper level you need to face and make big changes in your life.

You may be feeling unsatisfied or unhappy in areas of your life but not sure how to address/ change these issues. Abandonment fears, survival fears, fear of failure etc.. come into play and hold you.

You may feel very indecisive, conflicted or experience episodes of cognitive dissonance. This is a sign that you are processing your choices on a deeper level.

Through this battle of the mind vs. the soul you will ultimately come to a decision regarding what is best for you. Taking action on your choice happens when you’re ready. Generally when you’ve had enough of being scared, conflicted, anxious, paralyzed, frozen and depressed.

When you’ve had enough of the pain and suffering. When the fear of staying in your present situation is greater than the fear of leaving or change.

When you feel you have a degree of support, when you have a plan, when you feel strong enough, and when you feel a degree of safety to move forward.

You come to a point of acceptance of what you need to do to be healthy and reduce your stress levels.

Often we are pushed to face our fears head on. Crisis pushes us to move forward. Feeling sick and tired of being scared all the time pushes us forward. Wanting more from life pushes us forward. Getting sick from unhealthy coping mechanisms pushes us forward. Losing relationships or our finances. Realizing that taking no action is a living death pushes us forward.

Fear based depression is painful but it is a process of growth. It takes time to understand, find support, gain strength and overcome your fears.

Be gentle.

Be patient.

Find support.

Even if it seems bleak and painfully slow, everyday you are moving forward. One day you’ll look back at this dark time and honour it as the time where you grew the most even if it seemed like you weren’t doing much at all. On a much deeper level you were, and you’ll be so proud that you reached the light at the end of the tunnel.

Love & baby steps,

SG x

Having anxiety and depression is like being scared and tired at the same time:



“I Am Safe”

Reminder to all – please try to ignore media fear mongering, it’s truly disgusting!

The sensationalized media reports can be very triggering for sensitives and people with PTSD . Don’t buy into it.

And please don’t be tempted to dwell in it by reading reports over and over, and don’t believe everything you read – take it all with a grain of salt.

A suggestion.. switch off that TV, don’t read the paper or news online (or read less) and don’t view graphic violence! Once seen you can never unsee it..

See no evil    OR.......  Weeping Angel?????

I haven’t read the paper or watched TV news for years and I still manage to know what’s going in the world.

Have faith and do something enjoyable everyday.

Take a walk and suck up the beauty of nature, watch uplifting or funny movies, get in the garden, play with the kids, play with the dog, sit in the sun, read an inspirational book, do something nice for someone, be kind, get creative, read beautiful poetry..

Only you are responsible for your emotional and psychological health, only you can have faith and protect your soul.

Instilling fear and arousing public alarm when there is no imminent threat is rampant in the media and a dangerous thing, it causes stress and hysteria and that plays havoc on individuals and families. It stops you enjoying the moment, robs your life in the now.

You cannot stop the craziness in the world but you can be the kind, inspiring and calm one..

‘Be happy in this moment,

This moment is your life’

SG x


Fear: A Self Imposed Prison And How To Overcome It

If you suffer from anxiety or phobias, you perception of danger keeps you from facing those things causing your anxiety. This keeps you in a prison of your own making. If you are in a job that you do not find satisfying, do not like doing, or does not meet your needs, fear of the unknown (or failure or success) keeps you from taking the steps to change your job or career. If you are living somewhere you do not like, fear of the unknown keeps you from exploring other places to live that might be more to your liking. If you are in a bad relationship, fear of being alone or the unknown keeps you from ending that relationship in order to make room for other options.

If you fear dealing with an issue or truly experiencing your emotions, you avoid them with some self-destructive behavior rather than work through the issue. Fear of conflict keeps us from being honest with others and keeps us from resolving our issues with others. The result is that our needs our not being met. In order to live the life you really want, you need to face and other overcome what you fear.

Overcoming Fear

It is important to recognize that fear is one of many emotions we experience. The type of fear that keeps us imprisoned is based on what might happen at some future time. “I might fail. I might look stupid. I might be rejected.” When something we fear is avoided it will increase the amount of control this emotion has over our actions and our lives. The longer we avoid doing something, the more fear we have of doing it. This avoidance has a negative effect on self esteem and can also affect other parts of our lives. Avoiding the things we fear can be based on a belief of not being good enough…this is simply not true. There can be a snowball effect further inhibiting our ability to have a full and rewarding life. Therefore, the first step in overcoming a fear is to recognize that it is just a feeling and based on some imagined threat.

The second step is to challenge the validity of the fear and what real harm if any would result in facing what we fear. We tend to think of the worst possible outcome. That is highly unlikely to happen. Focusing on how facing the things you fear might improve your life or enable you to reach your goals is extremely helpful. For example: If you have social anxiety, introducing yourself to someone you are attracted to would give you the opportunity to know that person. Allowing your fears to control your behavior will be another missed opportunity to have what you want in your life.

Finally, avoid as much of the anticipator fear as possible. When you are facing the thing you fear, acknowledge and even embrace your fear. It is normal to experience some anxiety when doing something for the first time or something we believe to have risks. Trying to repress or ignore an emotion can increase its intensity. Be in the moment and do not judge your feelings. The more often you engage in an activity you fear, the less anxiety provoking it will become.

We are all capable of accomplishing so much more than we can imagine. Overcoming a fear enables us to have the confidence to tackle other challenges. It improves feelings of self worth and self esteem. It gives us the opportunity to have more of things we want in our lives and to improve the quality of our lives.

Author’s Bio:

I am a Counselor, Life Management and Relationship Coach, Board Certified Sexologist. I have been counseling individuals and couples for nearly 20 years. I have also worked with clients throughout the country via the internet on Skype for several years. Distance counseling and coaching is becoming more accepted and is as effective as face to face. My focus is to provide solution focused and judgment-free counseling/coaching.
I have both experience and training in sex therapy, cognitive-behavioral therapy, trauma resolution, and addiction counseling. I continue to add to my skills. Prior to having a full time private practice I worked in both Inpatient and Intensive Outpatient programs. My goal with all my clients is to help them achieve a more rewarding and fuller life.

Please visit my website for more information. www.alttherapist.org.