1

Making Adjustments

Roadblocks To Our Destiny

I’m trying to create a new life and it often feels like there are a million blocks that are purposely placed in my path. It’s so frustrating! I’m continually having to adjust in order to keep moving forward.

Somedays it makes me down, some days it makes me tired, some days I feel defeated by the endless roadblocks, obstacles, walls, pit-stops, delays and detours. Wherever I’m trying to get to, it’s certainly not one straight line to getting there.

There really are roadblocks to our destiny.

I’m trying hard not to give up. I can make adjustments, climb over the walls, take detours even if they take longer and prolong my stress a little. I can figure out new ways to keep going..

I can’t afford to let challenges stop me or make me sink. I need to accept there will always be challenges and roadblocks.

Today I have felt a little defeated as my ex. is making my life difficult through the children, just when life was getting easier.

I pity him as he still has the need to control even though he has remarried and has another child..

I pity him but I refuse to pity myself!

This movie is a good example of roadblocks on your path and never giving up!

SG x

 

0

Are You In Love, Or Just Attached?

Relationships that are based on control and unconscious drives and needs are codependent. The main indicator of codependency is focusing more attention on the actions and feelings of another person(s) than you do on yourself, and feeling that you have to control everything that happens. When your thoughts are dominated by what other people are doing, you are not, by definition, centered in your own inner process.

If your energy level fluctuates based on what others do or say, you might be codependent. If you feel like you have to monitor everything and make it work, you might be codependent. When you are struggling to control, you are not allowing the synchronicities of the universe to help you to develop.

~ James Redfield

http://themindsjournal.com/are-you-in-love-or-just-attached/

If you’re unsure about your own relationship motives, take a look at the following list and see where you land on love and attachment.
THEMINDSJOURNAL.COM
0

Why Narcissists Rule The World

.. and why empaths need to heal, take back their power and bring in the balance

First up, narcissists/ sociopaths love and need to be in control, they choose careers where they can wield their power. With their high energy (little emotional attachment to slow them down), they make great delegators, they get the menial workers do their work.

They have some very attractive qualities.. often fearless and high risk takers, they have high energy and the natural ability to handle stress (easier with a less emotional view of people or life). They are capable and ‘get things done’, have strategic minds, exude self confidence, self belief, success and charm. They have the gift of the gab and the ability to attract others with their show of ‘success’, high energy, intellectual strategy and emotional resilience … Like the Donald Trumps of this world, outwardly they are the epitome of success (surrounded by money, beautiful people, flamboyant lifestyle etc..)

They also have faults. Greed, lack of empathy, self absorbed.

The CEOs at the top of greedy large companies are often narcissistic/ sociopathic. Sex, self image, money, success, lifestyle, ‘winning’ and power are of prime importance. The lesser beings working below them are considered ‘menial workers’ (much like personal slaves) .. these poor souls are the ‘willing victims’ of corporate greed. 

These corporate leaders are the decision makers but unfortunately their decisions are not based on ‘seeing’ the bigger picture (because they are not that aware) or on wisdom because they are not that wise, they are based on logic and strategy and ultimately getting their needs met. Basically they are out of balance.

They are the brains albeit no heart or spiritual understanding’ (real empathy for others etc..)

 They tend to choose the easy road rather than the high/ hard road, (basically whatever road gets them more power, more sex, and more success/ money), even if it’s on the out-most fringe of being legal or moral their mind can justify these actions. Basically if there’s a loophole and they can ‘get away with it’, they will do it without batting a eyelid or losing a night’s sleep.

Self absorbed, life to them is a ‘one time opportunity’ and they intend to live big.

Secondly, sociopaths/ narcissists show much higher numbers in areas like company heads (as mentioned) law, media, advertising, journalism, the medical profession (especially surgery), politics, police and armed forces, religion etc..

Those with high empathy tend to chose caring or creative professions –  teachers, therapists, healers, artists, craftsmen/ women, charity workers, stylists, nurses, care givers etc..

So if narcissist/ sociopaths are heading in these areas they are effectively controlling the legal system, the media, the medical profession, police and armed forces, politics, areas of religion etc..

Obviously there are great many healthy and balanced people that can see through the flaws and are making big changes, but it does makes sense of the world today and how especially these professions are lacking in healthy balance, empathy, wisdom, and seeing the bigger picture.

Evolution happens and things will slowly change for the better, I’m confident of that.

But don’t expect the narcissistic to be capable of changing. It’s the empaths that are pushed to change, heal and grow, and this will completely change the dynamics.

The world is healing but much like personal healing, it takes time and baby steps. Heal yourself first, balance yourself. Use your head and your heart and you will be in a power position to help bring back some much needed balance to whatever field you work in.

Take back your voice and your power.

Be the change :o)

SG x

 

0

Keeping Yourself Safe

Escaping A Narcissist

The most dangerous time for a abused woman is when she leaves her abuser or threatens to leave.

Do not take this lightly. This is the time when most women are violently attacked or killed. Whether they have ever hit you or not is irrelevent, if he is controlling you and shows the warning signs below, he can be very dangerous.

The sudden fear of abandonment and his losing control of you .. can cause the narcissist to go into a ‘narcissistic rage’.

Have a plan, a strategy, take your time (my escape plan took 6 months of planning). Find a safe house, support, a counsellor who specializes in abuse and trauma – they can help with a plan prior to your escape and emotionally support you, go to a battered women’s shelter, have a talk, get advice, be smart, get into survival mode, save whatever money you can, sell things  – Remember psychological abuse is the same as physical abuse and shelters recognize this..  call an abused women’s support line, they are experts. Find the right help, someone who hears you and supports you. If they don’t take you seriously, find another. If they don’t understand the dangers of psychological abuse and narcissists – keep looking until you do find one that does… Don’t remain passive about your survival. When you have reached the point where leaving terrifies you but staying is a death sentence (your fear of staying is greater than your fear of leaving) – you need to start planning and if this means keeping secrets and hiding money for your own survival – so be it.

Remember baby steps..

You can escape, work on changing yourself and the reasons you attract narcissistic partners and have a better future.

I am happy to answers any questions for anyone in this situation.

If you intuitively know you could be in potential physical danger – watch the movies .. Fear with Reese Witherspoon, Enough with Jennifer Lopez, Sleeping with the Enemy with Julia Roberts. They helped me clearly see the danger I was in, and to be careful.

For some time I had to remove myself physically by getting my own place, but I had to wait until he found someone else before he would detach emotionally.

I never wanted to leave him, l did love him but for my own survival and sanity, leaving him was my only option. I sought professional help for my issues but that was never going to be an option for him.

We can dearly love and attract people who are not good for us, especially if we come from a history of childhood neglect, abuse or trauma. The key to change is to change yourself.

x I agree 100% with this. You may need a safety plan to get help. What this really means in practice is living a life in which you are becoming independant  enough(through education or work, learning to drive, saving a little money, saving clothes and your papers) to take care of yourself so when you leave you are stronger and can take care of your basic needs and that of your family.

0

The Slave Archetype

Slave . Puppet

Light:

Surrendering your power of choice to the Divine with complete trust.

Shadow:

Giving your willpower to an external authority out of fear of making your own choices

The Slave archetype represents a complete absence of the power of choice and self-authority. Yet it is precisely the absence of will power that gives the Slave its potential for personal transformation.

This act of releasing your will to a higher authority is also witnessed within organizational hierarchies, such as in the military and corporations. One becomes a Slave to the system.

For tens of millions of African Americans, the Slave archetype carries a historical freight that is impossible to overlook.

If Slavery is part of your genetic history, you need to take a close look at the possible presence of the Slave archetype in your intimate family.

Others who may dismiss this archetype as having no role in their life may discover that it is more prevalent than most people imagine, because of its many different expressions.

We don’t think of a soldier armed with weapons as a Slave, yet following orders unconditionally is an aspect of the Slave–especially when these orders personally violate your integrity.

The Puppet, for instance, may be manipulated by others.

The Shadow Aspect

The shadow Slave lacks the power of choice and self-authority, and follows orders that violate one’s integrity.

Evaluation

Do you have a history of becoming a slave to the system, or is slavery part of your genetic history?

 myss.com

Movies with Slave Archetypes

Watching movies related to one of your core archetypes, especially when going through the process of healing is a powerful tool to help you understand yourself (your motivations, your passions, your fears – why you behave the way you do).

SilverGirl

3

Warning Signs of an Unhealthy Relationship

Red Flags

From the book, Dragonslippers. Copyright © 2005 by Rosalind B. Penfold.

3

Are You Being Robbed Of Your Well-Being

Abuse in any form robs a person of their well-being

abuse.....STOP IT!!!!!!!!!!

Psychological/ Emotional Abuse

Psychological/ Emotional abuse is considered the number one worst kind of abuse.

Not many people are aware of this. Most think of abuse as being physical.. and that is where the trap lies. You think if he/ she didn’t hit you then it isn’t abuse. Think again. Emotional abuse causes invisible wounds, but real wounds to your mind, your personality and your spirit. You can loose your potential and your self esteem.

Physical wounds can heal, these wounds take much longer.

Continue reading