And don’t forget the family / role models you were born into..
What do you do when you feel lost and don’t know what your next step is going to be?
What do you do when life no longer wants to help you achieve the many things you so desperately wanted to achieve?
What do you do when nothing you do seems to be right anymore, and when all your dreams, goals and plans seem to be falling apart?
For those of us who are very attached to this picture we have in our head of how life it’s supposed to be and how everything should function in this world, having things go different then expected can be quite a fearful, shocking and terrifying experience.
We like to think that we are in control of ourselves and our lives. We like to think that we are in control of what happens in our relationships, our homes and in the world around us, but he truth of the matter is that we have little or no control over any of these things. In fact, most of us have no control over our own thoughts and feelings, let alone the lives of those we love and the world we live in.
A Course In Miracles speak about this so beautifully: “You who cannot even control yourself should hardly aspire to control the universe.”
Life has its own path, it’s own rhythm, its own flow and its own purpose, and our job is not to control life, but rather to go with the flow of life. Our job is to follow the rhythm of life and not try to disrupt the natural flow of things.
When we try to interfere with the natural flow of life. When we make all kind of rigid plans and then desperately try to adjust life according to them, we can’t help but get hurt. How can you not get hurt when, instead of going with the natural flow of life, we desperately try to push against it? Thinking that our plans are better than the ones life has for us. And assuming that we are smarted and wiser than life itself.
Woody Allen once said that “If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.” And even though for a very long time I couldn’t really understand what these words meant, because you see, I knew we have free will and that we are the creators of our own lives, I eventually got it.
You see, I have come to realize that there are two sides to us. There is the mind created self who is fearful and selfish, constantly seeking for love, approval and validation in other people, in things, experiences, etc.. Constantly striving, but never arriving. This side of us that is rigid, attached to how things should be, how life should unfold and how everyone should behave. And who has no interest in letting go of control and putting its trust in life. And then you have the real you, which I like to call the Soul, or your Authentic Self.
This side of you is overflowing with love. Love for yourself and love for the world around you. This side of you knows the reason of your existence, and the purpose of your life. It recognizes itself in all things and all people, and it knows that everything that happens in your life, it’s meant to serve you, to grow you and to strengthen you. This side of you lives in peace, joy and harmony, and loves to go with the flow of life. It has no interest in clinging, in controlling or getting attached to rigid ideas, plans and concepts about how life should be and it seems to have no difficulties in trusting in the wisdom of life and dancing to life’s rhythm. And when you “get lost”, when you feel lost, it’s usually because these two sides switch places. Not because they want to, but because the real you, your Soul, is a lot stronger and a lot more powerful than your mind created self, and it’s constantly seeking to bring you back to the light, and back to living the life you are meant to live. Wanting you to experience your own beauty and perfection, allowing your light shine as brightly as possible so that others can recognize themselves in your own light and start living their lives from the Soul level as well.
“It is good to feel lost… because it proves you have a navigational sense of where “Home” is. You know that a place that feels like being found exists. And maybe your current location isn’t that place but, Hallelujah, that unsettled, uneasy feeling of lost-ness just brought you closer to it.” ~ Erika Harris
So you see, when you get lost and don’t know what the next step is going to be, you shouldn’t be scared, since getting lost is just another attempt of your real self to bring you back on your life path. Back to helping you craft your life on a strong, loving and healthy foundation. Your Soul is there to guide you, to lead you and to help you take the necessary steps towards creating the truthful, loving, joyful and balanced life you truly deserve. Teaching you how to let go of the need to control everything, and helping you to relax into life. When you feel lost, your Soul is trying to get your attention, reminding you to be soft like water. To let go of fixed plans and concepts and allow events to follow their natural course. To surrender to what is and trust that by doing so, life will take great care of you. Because it will.
P.S. In my next post I’ll share with you a list of things that you ca do as you work towards finding your way back into the light and back to walking the path your Soul is meant to be walking. So keep an eye on your email
With all my love,
* Another great post from Luminita Saviuc at ‘Purpose Fairy’ (purposefairy.com)
Overcoming Polarized Thinking & Limited Beliefs
(Don’t Limit Your Choices!)
‘Life is a series of highs and lows. Be grateful for the highs. Be graceful in the lows. Enjoy life fully and find contentment in your Middle Ground’
– Val Boyko (findyourmiddleground.com)
Change Your PTSD Identity
Your beliefs drive 100% of your behavior. Every time you make a choice or take an action it’s based on a deep-seated belief system you’ve been operating on for years. What you do and how you do it (and the success of everything you attempt) is affected by what you accept as truth. To sum it up, you are who you believe you are.
Your most embedded beliefs occur between the ages of 0 – 3. This is the time when your subconscious mind learns the bulk of its programming. The experiences you have during this time, plus the people who share and shape your world influence every belief you come to hold. This means that you receive your beliefs at a time before you have the knowledge, maturity or intellect to choose them – and then you operate guided by them for the rest of your life. That is, until you decide to change.
When a trauma occurs your already available beliefs can further embed and/or evolve depending on what you think and experience during the traumatic event and afterward. This can be a problem if your original belief system is strongly negative, self-abusive or influenced by unhealthy ideas. Later, that system will directly and dramatically affect your recovery. In fact, your beliefs can actively halt, stall or resist your healing efforts.
If you believe you can or believe you can’t overcome the past and PTSD symptoms that’s what will happen. This is why proactively engaging with your belief system and structure is so critical; your beliefs (consciously or subconsciously) can help or hinder your healing process and, ultimately, your success.
If you’re finding it hard to move forward and reach the recovery gains you seek it’s a good time to explore your beliefs about yourself, what you deserve and what you are capable of. When your rooted, core beliefs are in the negative your first focus in healing must be changing your beliefs to be more in alignment with who you want to be and what you are hoping your healing achieves.
The following five steps offer a simplified way to begin shifting any belief:
1 – Identify the negative belief that needs to be changed. Take an inventory of your self-talk and notice what negative thoughts and beliefs frequently occur and make you feel bad about yourself and what’s possible for you. State each belief as simply and directly as possible. (e.g. “I don’t deserve to be happy,” or “I am unlovable,” or “I am broken and unfixable.”
2 – Identify the positive belief that will be more supportive to your recovery. The most effective beliefs are stated in the positive, very specific and in the present; craft your new belief – the one you would rather have directing your behavior – with these concepts in mind. (e.g. “I deserve to be happy,” or “I am completely lovable,” or “I am healing and on my way to a full recovery.”)
3 – Identify proof that the new belief might be true. For every belief there are clues that it is right, possible and available to you already. Look for the clues; ask others to offer their insights. Sometimes clues will be big, hanging like a neon sign you just haven’t noticed. Other times the clues will be small and subtle yet will indicate an opening to a new way of thinking.
4 – Identify choices you’d have to make for that belief to operate in your life. Beliefs drive your choices but they also respond to them. Start making choices based on the new belief, i.e. If this new belief were true how would that change the decisions you make? For each new choice you face filter it through the new belief as if the belief is already true and verified.
5 – Identify actions you’d have to take for that to embody that belief. When you hold a belief you act from the core concepts it holds as truth. If the new belief were true, what actions would that allow you to take? Start filtering all of your actions through the new belief; identify the possibilities and opportunities it opens up and behave in alignment with them.
You don’t have to believe the new belief right away. What’s most important is that you maintain an attitude of “I am open to believing __________.” You are now entering a training program for your mind, body and soul. When you change beliefs it changes who you are all the way down to your core. Of course, you won’t right away believe the new belief. It will take time to acclimate to, embrace, embody and act from it. That’s okay! The more slowly, methodically and deliberately you shift out of an old belief develop a new one the more you own the change; the more deeply and dramatically it will affect who you are and how you live.
Source: changeyouchoose.com by Michele Rosenthal