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Common Defense Mechanisms

“ Attacking him triggers a defense mechanism. (GIF set) ”

In some areas of psychology (especially in psychodynamic theory), psychologists talk about “defense mechanisms,” or manners in which we behave or think in certain ways to better protect or “defend” ourselves. Defense mechanisms are one way of looking at how people distance themselves from a full awareness of unpleasant thoughts, feelings and behaviors.

Psychologists have categorized defense mechanisms based upon how primitive they are. The more primitive a defense mechanism, the less effective it works for a person over the long-term. However, more primitive defense mechanisms are usually very effective short-term, and hence are favored by many people and children especially (when such primitive defense mechanisms are first learned). Adults who don’t learn better ways of coping with stress or traumatic events in their lives will often resort to such primitive defense mechanisms as well.

Most defense mechanisms are fairly unconscious – that means most of us don’t realize we’re using them in the moment. Some types of psychotherapy can help a person become aware of what defense mechanisms they are using, how effective they are, and how to use less primitive and more effective mechanisms in the future.

Primitive Defense Mechanisms

1. Denial

OMGGGGG

Denial is the refusal to accept reality or fact, acting as if a painful event, thought or feeling did not exist. It is considered one of the most primitive of the defense mechanisms because it is characteristic of early childhood development. Many people use denial in their everyday lives to avoid dealing with painful feelings or areas of their life they don’t wish to admit. For instance, a person who is a functioning alcoholic will often simply deny they have a drinking problem, pointing to how well they function in their job and relationships.

2. Regression

Adult baby bouncer..this would be insanely comfortable haha

Regression is the reversion to an earlier stage of development in the face of unacceptable thoughts or impulses. For an example an adolescent who is overwhelmed with fear, anger and growing sexual impulses might become clingy and start exhibiting earlier childhood behaviors he has long since overcome, such as bedwetting. An adult may regress when under a great deal of stress, refusing to leave their bed and engage in normal, everyday activities.

3. Acting Out

Never. say. no. to. panda.

Acting Out is performing an extreme behavior in order to express thoughts or feelings the person feels incapable of otherwise expressing. Instead of saying, “I’m angry with you,” a person who acts out may instead throw a book at the person, or punch a hole through a wall. When a person acts out, it can act as a pressure release, and often helps the individual feel calmer and peaceful once again. For instance, a child’s temper tantrum is a form of acting out when he or she doesn’t get his or her way with a parent. Self-injury may also be a form of acting-out, expressing in physical pain what one cannot stand to feel emotionally.

4. Dissociation

A contemplative hedgehog. | 33 Animal GIFs That Are Guaranteed To Make You Laugh

Dissociation is when a person loses track of time and/or person, and instead finds another representation of their self in order to continue in the moment. A person who dissociates often loses track of time or themselves and their usual thought processes and memories. People who have a history of any kind of childhood abuse often suffer from some form of dissociation. In extreme cases, dissociation can lead to a person believing they have multiple selves (“multiple personality disorder”). People who use dissociation often have a disconnected view of themselves in their world. Time and their own self-image may not flow continuously, as it does for most people. In this manner, a person who dissociates can “disconnect” from the real world for a time, and live in a different world that is not cluttered with thoughts, feelings or memories that are unbearable.

5. Compartmentalization

Franz Joseph Gall - publishes work that suggests that the brain is functionally compartmentalized.  While correct in principle, his maps were totally incorrect.

Compartmentalization is a lesser form of dissociation, wherein parts of oneself are separated from awareness of other parts and behaving as if one had separate sets of values. An example might be an honest person who cheats on their income tax return and keeps their two value systems distinct and un-integrated while remaining unconscious of the cognitive dissonance.

6. Projection

Dan Bejar - "Future Vision"

Projection is the misattribution of a person’s undesired thoughts, feelings or impulses onto another person who does not have those thoughts, feelings or impulses. Projection is used especially when the thoughts are considered unacceptable for the person to express, or they feel completely ill at ease with having them. For example, a spouse may be angry at their significant other for not listening, when in fact it is the angry spouse who does not listen. Projection is often the result of a lack of insight and acknowledgement of one’s own motivations and feelings.

7. Reaction Formation

Being too Nice isn't always a good thing because that means you care too much even when they don't care about you

Reaction Formation is the converting of unwanted or dangerous thoughts, feelings or impulses into their opposites. For instance, a woman who is very angry with her boss and would like to quit her job may instead be overly kind and generous toward her boss and express a desire to keep working there forever. She is incapable of expressing the negative emotions of anger and unhappiness with her job, and instead becomes overly kind to publicly demonstrate her lack of anger and unhappiness.

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The Martyr Archetype

Light Attribute

Learning the transcendent nature of service to oneself or a cause.

Shadow Attribute

Addiction to self pity.

The Martyr archetype is well known in two arenas: as a classic political or religious figure, and in the self-help world of contemporary psychology.

In the social and political world, the martyr is often highly respected for having the courage of conviction to represent a cause, even if it requires dying for that cause for the sake of others.

Suffering so that others might be redeemed, whether that redemption take a spiritual or political form, is among the most sacred of human acts.

The Shadow Aspect

Within the self-help field, the shadow Martyr is viewed as a person who has learned to utilize a combination of service and suffering for others as the primary means of controlling and manipulating her environment and an addiction to self pity.

Evaluation

While people recognize this archetype in others, particularly when they are directly influenced by the individual sporting this pattern, they often cannot see it in themselves.

Look for a pattern of giving yourself to causes for the betterment of others, regardless of the consequences.

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 Movies with Martyrs

Watching movies related to one of your core archetypes, especially when going through the process of healing your shadow aspect is a powerful tool to help you understand yourself (your motivations, your passions, your fears – why you behave the way you do).

Healing the Negative Aspect or Shadow Side of the Martyr

Shadow Martyrs tend to be run down, sick, bitter and miserable before they wake up and realize that their life isn’t working for them.

It is probably working for everyone else around them though!

On a spiritual level the answer lies in choosing life and happiness, rather than choosing suffering and unhappiness.

Lessons in self love – taking care of your own needs first, in order to give and to be of benefit to someone else.

Selflessness vs. Selfishness

Assertiveness – learning to say no to others in order to say yes to yourself

Consider counselling or talk therapy to overcome issues:

Forgoing your own needs leads to ill health, victimization, blaming others, bitterness and resentment.

People do not respect those who do not take care of themselves first no matter how kind and loving they are.

Issues to Address

Your fears regarding creating a happy life for yourself – devoid of endless suffering

Learning to take care of yourself: emotionally, physically and spiritually

Being responsible for your own well being

Self Esteem

Learning healthy narcissism

Addressing childhood and/or past life issues regarding martyrdom.

Self Love

Learning how to set firm boundaries with people.

Removing the takers and selfish people from your life.

Developing the courage to take the action required to create your own happy life, free of pain, suffering and resentment.


Ask yourself this question when you choose to ‘help others’ or give to others especially when you yourself are stressed, run down or overtired.

Is this good for me?

“What do I need?”

and also remember…  

those that love you, want you to be happy and free of stress

…not miserable because you give endlessly until you are burnt out and exhausted.

That is not called love – that is called martyrdom.

Healing Quotes

Silver Girl