Time To Stop Being Passive
Get your life back!
We all reach a point in our life when we need to make the choice to live. To really live.
We may have been through hell but it takes choices and action to get out of hell.
To get up and fight for your life, fight for your future.. to survive.
This is hard when you’re been in a long term abusive relationship or a dysfunctional family – because It’s hard to get up when all you want to do is lie down and you may not know how to survive on your own because you’ve always been controlled. You’re not a strategist and you don’t have the skills of focus, discipline, determination and commitment.
Survival may be something you have never had to do before – to protect and provide for yourself without support.
You may feel terrified. You may procrastinate knowing you have to take some action, but feel overwhelmed where to begin..
Due to the abuse or trauma, you may have PTSD, not be able to focus clearly and be suffering from dissociation, you may find it difficult to take action.
I’m going to suggest one task for you to start. One thing for you to do everyday consistently. At this stage you don’t have to do anything else – except maybe look for some healthy support or talk therapy.
The thing to do is to get back ‘into your body’and re-train your brain – this is very important especially if you have PTSD and feel somewhat ‘out of body’ and drifting through life. Time is ticking by and you’re not achieving much..
People who have been subject to abusive or controlling behavior are emotionally very strong, they have strong and big hearts, but they need to develop a strong mind to go with their big hearts. From being controlled their mental strength has atrophied – literally. Brain scans prove this.. abuse and neglect damage the brain.
Time to heal and balance that…
This is a very simple plan and it’s starting point to help get back into your body.. and re-train your brain..
You have to be consistent…
Monday – Go for a walk (DO NOT exceed 20 mins). Walk briskly or to the very best of your ability .. for no more than 20 mins – this is important! If you’re sick or very unfit – go slow and start with 5 mins – the important thing is to start and be consistent. If there is nothing else you can achieve all day – achieve this. This is it, the one thing – forget the dishes, the housework – you only have to eat, sleep, do some washing and do this. Organize what you need the night before – find your old walking shoes, old track pants and a t-shirt, forget about your looks and think about your survival. Don’t make it difficult, keep it simple – throw on your gear and walk out the front door. Get home and rest for the rest of the day if need be.
Tuesday – Do crunches (5 sets of 12) – DO NOT do more than that.. but do them to the best of your ability and do them correctly. Have a break between each set if need be and remember to protect your back as you do them.. Watch the video for a demo.
Get a piece of cardboard and write on it ‘ I am Strong’ in large letters – make a sign.. Place it in the room you do the crunches in. Each time you feel too weak remind yourself that you are strong – do 12, have a break, tell yourself that you are strong and that you can do this.. do 12 more… repeat.
Wednesday – Repeat walk
Thursday – Repeat crunches
Friday – Walk
Saturday – Crunches
Sunday – Rest Day
There is a very good reason to start this very simple routine which may not be understandable to you ..
1. People with PTSD or C-PTSD need to get into their body and slowly and gently re- wire their brain – pushing yourself for a hour at the gym daily will never work for people with PTSD – you’ll give up, not because you’re lazy or weak, just that it’s simply too hard and we will be setting ourselves up to feel like failures. Which we are not! This system is manageable.
No fancy gear required.
2. We need to activate our ‘core’ muscles – we can do this by doing the crunches. This is the key starting point to external strength. This relates to our ‘solar plexus’ chakra and issues regarding procrastination. Crunches activate your core and balance your solar plexus..
3. These small and easily achieved acts of discipline a day help you develop mental strength and focus. Remember baby steps.
4. Slowly you will achieve results and it will not be at all difficult, it will take time but it is easy!
5. You will begin to focus better.
6. You must be consistent, think of it as something you do daily like cleaning your teeth.
7. You are incorporating discipline, commitment and focus into your life – you need these attributes in order to survive and heal. You are working new muscles do to speak – mentally and physically.. and they will get stronger.
8. Only you live in your mind, you are in control of it. Tell the little voice inside your head that says ‘I’m too tired, it’s too hard’, I want to sleep’, there’s no point’, it’ll take forever’…. where to go and choose life, choose health, choose to survive.
This may seem small but it is a big starting point.
Next up – Diet for Healing..
Love and baby steps,
Do not let fear consume you.
You are stronger than that.
What you fear is the past not your future.
It’s not relevant today.
It will be different, it will be amazing, it will be all your dreams
Throw off the blanket that hides your light
For you are safe
You are protected from attack
For you are a child of God
Be who you are
Who you are meant to be