It’s 5 am.
I’m in bed in the dark typing away on my laptop. I’m crying. I’m so sad.
Sad doesn’t describe my sad.
I don’t have the words.
My nose is stuffed up and the tears have dripped down my face and on my dressing gown.
I’m letting go of something. What is it?
A dream I think.
A dream I had fought a long and hard battle for.
A dream that I cannot realize.
I’m not giving up the fight, I’m letting it go
Continuing the fight will only destroy me
I suppose there is finally a sense of peace
A sense of defeat
A sense of surrender
Accepting futility
Accepting reality
I adapt
I move on
