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The Verbally Abusive Relationship

“The great tragedy in a verbally abusive relationship is that the partner’s efforts to bring reconciliation, mutual understanding and intimacy are rejected out of hand by the abuser because to him they are adversarial. This is so because if he isn’t feeling power over his partner, he is feeling that she must be trying to overpower him. There is no mutuality in his reality.”

~ The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans

not letting it out:

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The Challenges Of Meeting New People

Trying to make opposite sex friends after abusive or codependent relationships

Yesterday I went to the anxiety group meetup and ending up sitting outside with 5 men. Quite a big deal for someone who had a fear of men..

We spent 6 hours together (which was too long but I guess most of us have little to go home to, and were enjoying the connection..)

It was fun, until later when it sank in.

By the time we all left I was feeling fine but I noticed the guys all looked worse for wear. Oops…

Their energy was low and they looked drained. I felt little responsible for what started off as a light and jovial energy (6 hours is a long time for anyone to sit around talking though..)

I actually felt responsible for their emotional state….?? Why did I feel that? Somewhere along the line it got deep, and I’m pretty sure I took it there, but they could have left. They chose to express themselves. So why do I feel I have to leave people feeling they are uplifted and upbeat from talking to me .. I know I find it way harder to see a man in emotional pain than a woman.

Later in the evening I ended up with a headache wondering what had occurred.. then I didn’t sleep (thinking.. thinking.. thinking..) It’s a tape I’m not turning off easily. Suddenly all their words came back to me..

I took a long bath, I did a relaxation technique. I felt a little calmer but still unable to unwind.

I felt neurotic letting this screw me up.

Next day I missed the early morning market because of the fatigue (damn, needed the money..) and then I stayed in today with a migraine from lack of sleep. It’s now 8.30 pm and after processing all that went on in those 6 hours I feel only slightly better.

So what went on.

Well, for a start I have I avoided men like the plague. For 6 years I have almost been in hiding in order to ‘keep safe’, grow stronger, heal and not attract another narcissistic man. Only in the last few weeks have I got out and started being friendly towards men (instead of scared, avoidant and cool). Fact is I was terrified of attracting one. But I am finally feeling completely safe in myself and in my intuition that I can be friendly. make friends and protect myself from the predatory types.

I am an open person, I talk about the deeper stuff and this made it easier for the men to talk about the deeper stuff too. I don’t think they usually do that.

I never acted like a therapist, I wasn’t offering advice or judging. I was just being me and talking. (Maybe I don’t have much of a life and this ‘stuff’ is all I have to talk about).

We found out we are all from dysfunctional families. One guy had young alcoholic parents who split up, one had a mother who had a psychotic break, another had a schizophrenic mother. We all were neglected in some form or other. One had a spiritual emergency at 15 and went through mental health, one has OCD, another was in a serious car accident as a teen and was left nearly paralyzed.

There were some boundary issues, too much advice, a fair amount of judgement ..

A couple of the men listened to my story and then related their own feelings regarding their own mothers on me. I just listened and didn’t react. I realize not to take what they say personally, because it’s not personal, they were just re-living their pain and projecting it on me.

I do know I don’t want to reject them, I don’t want to run from people anymore. I want to accept people.

Two were very forward regarding their attraction towards me. In the real world I’m pretty invisible but they made me feel like hot property. I didn’t feel flattered, because it isn’t really real and it gets in the way of making healthy friendships. One guy was aggressive in his approach the other more frustrated and I get the sense if I’m not willing to be what he wants/ needs he’ll end up rejecting me, almost like he’s created an illusion of me in his own mind.

The aggressive guy was just hoping to hook up with a vulnerable woman to fix all his problems. He’s easy to deal with him. But the frustrated guy I really like as a friend, he’s got a great heart. I have considered messaging him to discuss things a little and set a friendly boundary.

Truth is I don’t want to date, I’m far from it. I just want make deeper healthier connections and friendships. Everyone is painfully misunderstood and painfully lonely. Everyone wants a loving relationship you can feel that, but for now close friendships are loving relationships.

It’s challenging though, maybe I just rehashed the past for everyone.. Ughh!

I’m still questioning whether to go again, or whether the answers lie in staying, setting boundaries with them and with myself, healthy open communication, and that all this is actually very healing even if a little painful at times.

Maybe it’s okay that they opened up and experienced some pain. I guess my fear is that they’ll avoid me as the woman who made them feel too much and brought the energy down :o(

Hopefully I’ll feel better and clearer about things as the migraine clears, as you can see I feel and think a great deal!

I’ll try to focus on my life today. Maybe get in the garden.

Writing it out is therapeutic though and I’ll try to be gentle on myself this is a new experience for me, and maybe for them.

Love SG x

 

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The Stonewaller

Stonewalling. Great post.

Psychopath Resistance

Stonewalling = the act of refusing communication, stalling, or evading, especially to avoid revealing embarrassing information and escape accountability.

The stonewaller isn’t necessarily a sociopath, but the act of intentional stonewalling contains the cold, callous attitude of the sociopath. Absence of empathy is characteristic of stonewallers, and they may relish a sadistic pleasure in watching their target twist, squirm, and make humiliating efforts and bids to be heard. Stonewallers, whether sociopaths or not, are seriously disturbed communicators. Their indifference to the stonewalled party’s experience, as noted, can be chilling. Stonewalling often reflects character pathology, in which case they won’t change—they will always be stonewallers.

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The Most Devastating Tactic in the Narcissist’s Tool Kit

Love-bombing. Great post

Emmagc75's Blog

A very honest depiction of life on the narcissist’s rollercoaster! From thenarcissistswife.com

Source: The Most Devastating Tactic in the Narcissist’s Tool Kit

On a daily basis, the narcissist provides his victim with endless opportunities for misery, pain, and frustration. From petty defiance and his refusal to meet the basic human needs of his spouse, to blaming his every failure on her and projecting all his garbage onto her… the crazy-making circus of the narcissist is in full swing.

This destructive, not to mention toxic, pattern of behavior makes for endless days of wishing you could simply sprout wings and fly away, or possibly just be lucky enough to slip into some kind of coma, where this never-ending, insufferable bullshit just doesn’t exist. But, alas, these daydreams never come true so, you’re left to deal with the daily onslaught of despair-inducing tactics completely conscious. Bummer.

The one upside is that, after a while, you come to expect the daily misery. Anger…

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If Someone Hurt You Deeply To Your Soul, This Zombie Analogy Is For You!

Zombie Apocalypse - A3 Home Decor Poster This may keep the kids away....probably not!

By Karen Salmansohn

If someone hurt you deeply to your soul, it’s tempting to want to shut down and shut off – to give in and give up – to get bitter, resentful, depressed – and all before breakfast!

This soul-shutting-down tendency reminds me of those classic zombie horror movies. You know, those unconscious, soulless zombies walking around in darkness, taking bites out of innocent, happy, soulful people? One chomp, then, suddenly, these newly bitten folks find themselves becoming zombie-like themselves. They feel their souls shut down. They crave spending time in darkness. They want to bite others.

Likewise, if you’ve suffered from an emotional zombie bite, it’s temping to want to join the zombie crowd and shut off your soul, seek dark thoughts, and chomp upon another. It’s especially tempting to want to chomp upon the zombie chump who chomped upon you!

Basically, when you’ve been bitten by a zombie, you can find yourself feeling the urge to become zombie-like yourself. But you must resist. You must stay strong. You must keep your soul alive!

How?

First, you must face toward the light – where love, forgiveness, peace, faith, joy, and growth can all be found. All of this light is what keeps your soul alive – and keeps you from becoming an unconscious, soul-dead zombie.

Zombie-like behavior cannot survive in the light. Zombie-like behavior thrives in darkness, with a shut-down soul and well-fed ego – an ego which survives on being right about having the right to be bitter, resentful, and depressed…all before breakfast!

One the biggest sources of light to keep your soul alive is Self-love. And one of the biggest sources of self-love?

Forgiveness.

Forgiveness can start with forgiving yourself for being bitten by a soulless zombie. After all, chances are, the zombie who chomped upon you didn’t look like a zombie. Just like in the movies, these soulless zombies often pass themselves off as normal soulful people.

Next, you have to forgive the zombie who bit you.  Remember, forgiving your zombie will release their poison from your system. Forgiving your zombie will help to make sure you save your soul from shutting down. Forgiving your zombie will make sure you don’t start craving constant dark thoughts. Forgiveness releases the zombie-bite poison from your system.

Remind yourself that your zombie probably became a zombie because a zombie bit them. And the zombie who bit them, was bitten by a zombie. And the zombie who bit them, was bitten by a zombie.

Feel compassion for these zombies—knowing that they, sadly, must walk the earth living with a shut-down soul—never experiencing  their own soul, dancing and shining with the light of love, forgiveness, peace, faith, joy, and growth.

If you’ve recently been bitten by a zombie, take a moment to vow to yourself that you will do what you can to save this planet from being overtaken by zombies, by making sure you, at least, won’t become a zombie yourself!

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Narcissistic Victim Syndrome from a Shamanic Perspective

Soul Loss

Many therapists would say that the victim of narcissistic abuse seems to unconsciously choose abusive narcissists again and again in a bid to correct their own maladaptive behavioral patterns.  And that this pattern of behaviour is the victims attempt to resolve old conflicts, and hopefully soothe their old wounds.  This is a plausible argument, and personally I can concur with that to some degree, but personally I believe that the phenomenon is a bit more complicated than that.

I would like to add another level to the argument; it is a spiritual dimension that I have come across in the course of therapy with victims of Narcissistic Victim Syndrome.  On many occasions, I have worked with victims who had already completed therapy before coming to me, they thought that they had dealt with all the issues of their past experiences with abusive relationships, and yet they felt something was not right.

The victim could articulate that they felt as if the source of their primary narcissistic abuse was still under their skin; as if their abuser was still living off them in some way or other.  In spite of having done all kinds of therapy, the victim knew (at a deeper level of the self) that something was not quite finished, or something was missing from their life.  It has been my experience that traditional western therapies work well when working with victims of abuse on a mental, emotional, and physical level, but generally not so strong when it comes to working consciously with the victim on a spiritual level.

Therapists need to be able to work with the victim of narcissistic victim syndrome on a spiritual level, because “Narcissistic Abuse is truly a form of soul defilement”.   It seams that whether a person considers themselves to be spiritual or not, they can tell that on a deeper level of the self that something is not right.  The Shaman knows that soul trauma is a big part of victim abuse; it is created through the dyadic relationship that exists between both the narcissist and the victim.  For the victim to recover on all levels of the self, it is useful if the therapist is familiar with transpersonal therapy (the psycho-spiritual component), or at least be able to refer the victim on to a therapist who can complete the recovery work on a spiritual level if they are not feeling confident enough themselves.

Shamanic diagnosis of Narcissistic Victim Syndrome:

 Apart from being schooled in western psychology and psychotherapy, I have also studied Medical Anthropology with a variety of indigenous Shamans. The Shamanic view of western psychotherapy is that it tends to lack a good understanding of a psychology of spirituality (transcendent states of consciousness).  By so doing, it has lost a sense of the sacred that awakens man to his sense of wholeness.  Furthermore, as a result of this loss, most western therapies overlook the process of Individuation (the processof integrating the conscious with the unconscious, for the purpose of self-actualization), something the Shaman feels is vital for a full recovery for the victim of narcissistic abuse.  When a victim is traumatized or shocked (as in narcissistic abuse), it is possible for the whole self to become fragmented; the Shaman calls this phenomenon “soul loss”.

Individuation is a centering of consciousness through which the self forms the personality into a coherent whole, bringing back the fragmented parts to a totally integrated “true self”, (the totality of a Divine Self).  To reach the goal of the individuation process, the Shaman would take the victim of abuse through the pain of the contents of their own unconscious mind in order to access the contents of the psyche, and bring that knowledge into consciousness where it can be processed for healing.  In this process, the victim begins to understand their relationship with everything, with themselves, others, including the relationship with their narcissist abuser.

Shamans (indigenous healers), were the first psychotherapists on earth, they have understood for millennium the phenomenon of the narcissistic dyadic relationship where perpetrator and victim merge in twinship, enmeshed in each other.  When a victim is emeshed with a narcissist, especially if this began in childhood, the individual learns to give their attention, affection or emotional support to their abuser above all else, in time  they begin to loose a sense of self.  It appears that the victim puts the needs of the narcissist (and then others) before their own needs.  This is true to a point, but actually, and more importantly, the victim’s first daily need is to remain safe in the environment with the narcissist. Becoming a “pleaser” is a way to stay safe, it works by way of “changing the mood” of the abuser, thus avoiding there rages, which usually meant punishment, guilt, shame, and abandonment for the victim.   However this behaviour of pleasing may continue into adulthood, where it can cause a lot of resentment in the victim.

Many victims loose the ability to be able to ask for their own needs to be meet, as a result, they may find themselves acting in a way that is passive aggressive.  The passive aggressive style of communication develops as a result of fear at not being able to have honest communication with their aggressor (because of fear of reprisals).  The victim will need to examine and understand their behaviour, so that they can develop an assertive style of communication for a healthier balance in their relationships.  These victims never knew reciprocality (“give and take”) when in a relationship with a narcissist, they learned to give, give and give again.  Part of the recovery work with the victim will be to bring this awareness to them, and to encourage them to forge reciprocal relationships in the future with others, and reconnect with their own self.

The Shaman also understands that a part of a human soul is free to leave the body, and it may choose to do so for many reasons; indigenous cultures refer to this phenomenon as soul loss. Western therapy also recognizes this phenomenon; they refer to it as dissociation.  From the point of view of contemporary psychology, the therapist may understand this better in the context of a victim experiencing a “vital loss of their essence” whenever they dissociate or split off from the body while experiencing a traumatic event.  This soul loss (or vital loss of essence) is a defense response to many forms of physical or emotional traumas; such as fear, the stress of combat, incest, loss of a loved one, suicide, abuse, accidents, surgery, long standing illness, miscarriage, abortion, addiction, depression, narcissistic abuse etc.

The Shaman accepts that the soul part flees in order to survive the experience as a means of self-preservation, and they have a technique for mending this common human predicament, which they call “soul retrieval”.  Similarly, the psychotherapist (whether they know it or not) also does a form of soul retrieval by a process of uncovering and integrating the split off parts of the victim’s self.   Take for example, a child who dissociates because of rape by her father and escapes to the top of the wardrobe. The Shaman would say that the child had experienced a soul loss when a part of their soul’s essence left the body due to being overwhelmed in that moment.  However, both therapist and shaman would agree, whether it is called dissociation or soul loss, what is now needed is to integrate that fragmented split off part of the self back into the person’s system in order to make that individual whole again.

The Shaman also knows that there are other ways one can loose a part of one’s soul.  In a case of soul loss, a person may unconsciously give part of their soul to another person in ignorance because of their co-dependence.  For example, because a child’s psychic defenses are not strong enough to withstand the constant abandonment and rejection from their narcissistic family member, the child, in a bid to get love may give a part of its soul to the narcissist in order to survive.  In this case the soul loss is a natural protective mechanism.

Many people inadvertently give themselves away when they are in grief.  For example, I worked with a client whose narcissistic partner had died; she explained that it was as if a part of her had died also.  She went on to tell me that she had put a photo of herself into his pocket before the coffin was closed.  She said she could not bear to think of him being alone in the after-life.  Her explanation of the event may well be true, but it also demonstrates the extent of her co-dependency.  In effect, she sent her soul essence to her loved one in order to keep him company, but more importantly, she did this unconsciously in order to remain attached to him.  By this act she was actually creating her own soul loss.

There is also a flip side of giving your soul away, and that is when a soul is stolen.  In most cases of “soul robbery” by a narcissist, it is most likely their “acting out” is due to their sense of envy. For example, a narcissistic parent may see their children as both mirrors and competitors, and they may become increasingly fearful and envious of the child’sgrowing independence.  They may equate the child’s independence as a threat to their sense of power and position in the family environment.  Feeling a sense of powerlessness, the narcissist may set about stealing a part of the child’s soul in order to gain power over it; this is done through violent acts, such as the rape of that child, or severe mental or emotional beatings. That way the narcissistic parent regains their domination and power over the child, while at the same time depleting the child’s power.  However, in the attempt of getting more power, sadly, the narcissist fragments the child’s soul, that is a high price the child has to pay for the narcissists envy.

By the way, it is important to say that it is not possible for someone to rob your soul without your consent at some level of your own self (usually it is an unconscious act, as in self protection).  It is also possible to give your soul-part away inadvertently; this can occur during a trauma, when there is a partial or complete disruption of the normal integration of conscious or psychological functioning (and the individual fragments or splits).

Just to remind you, soul loss is comparable towhat psychology refers to as “dissociation”.   When a shaman is working with a victim of narcissistic abuse they look for signs of soul loss, and they can recognize many symptoms that would confirm that a soul loss had occurred, especially by listening to the words they use, (i.e. “I don’t feel like the same person anymore”; “it feels like a part of me has died”, or “I have never been the same since…..”).  Another tell tale sign is when a depression does not manage to heal.

To the Shaman, soul loss or dissociation is a sign that the person is not fully able to engage with life, the person is technically unable to stop “depressing”.   Apart from looking out for soul-loss, the shaman would also check if the client was holding a part of someone else’s soul.  For example, the victim may hold on to a part of the narcissist’s soul as a result of psychological conditions and reactions due to survival identification (such as happens in Stockholm Syndrome and Trauma Bonding).

Going back to the point I touched on earlier, where we raised the question as to victims seeming to choose abusive narcissists again and again in order to heal their old conflicts and wounds.  The shaman knows that when they witness the victim’s maladaptive behaviour, (where they find themselves repeating the narcissistic trauma over and over again), they are being privy to the victim’s unconscious motivational drive towards its own self-actualization. Self-actualization means to fulfill one’s potential.  The question then is to ask, “Potential for what?”  The Shaman knows that man’s driving quest is to become “whole” to the core of their being…..incorporating body, mind, spirit and soul.  To the Shaman, this is the only drive by which the human life is determined.

To be “holy” means to be “whole”.  When we are whole we have integrated all the fragmented parts back together.  The Shaman understands that this phenomenon of healing the fragmented soul is man’s primal and innate drive towards “wholeness.”, when man becomes fully actualized, an Authentic Self.   When a person self-actualizes they possess an extraordinary ability to detect the spurious dishonest personality that is the narcissist, and they will never again need to repeat the narcissistic trauma.   This is the journey home to oneself, it is a spiritual one, and each therapist is called to make this journey for themselves, because we can only ever bring others as far as we have gone ourselves.

Christine Louis de Canonville

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Stages of Grief from a Psychopathic Relationship

Reading this simply amazed me, these are EXACTLY the stages of healing I went through, to a Capital T!!! Every. Single. One! -  Stages of Grief from a Psychopathic Relationship | Narcissist, Sociopath, and Psychopath Abuse Recovery
The traditional 5 stages of grief are: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance.You will undoubtedly feel all of those at some point while recovering from the psychopathic relationship. But losing a psychopath is not like losing a friend/family member; it’s not like losing a regular, loving partner. Here are the modified stages of grief from a psychopathic relationship:

Total Devastation
All-consuming devastation. Absolute shock and disbelief. Feelings of total emptiness, thoughts of suicide and extreme difficulty performing trivial tasks. Your hormones are going cold-turkey from a chemical addiction. You will feel ugly and drained — your body will physically deteriorate (before/after pictures of D&D victims are horrifying). Your sex drive will oscillate between desire for him and the misery of thinking about what you no longer have. Psychologically, you are extremely raw and vulnerable from the D&D, but at this point you aren’t even aware what a D&D is — you are just a victim of it, and therefore feel it instead of understand it (like you do now). You genuinely believe you deserve this. That you are worthless. You are nobody without him. You are jealous, crazy, needy, clingy, everything is your fault.

Denial
Typically begins when the psychopath starts waving his “happy” life in your face. You see him running off with OW, or telling the world how flawless his life is (commonly done through social media). You aren’t even angry about the OW, because you likely have no idea how long the infidelity was going on. You just feel the need to prove that you are fine and dandy like the psychopath, because then maybe he’ll want you back. You change jobs, friends, lash out at everyone and everything except the psychopath. You go out drinking, partying, having mindless sex, in huge efforts to convince yourself and him that you are fine. You will become very impulsive, blowing money and harboring delusional thoughts of returning to your idealizer. You may try to replicate the exact dynamic you had with the psychopath with another man, only to get very frustrated that your sex life isn’t as good or that he doesn’t love-bomb you with attention.

Education & Self-doubt
Somehow, you come across psychopathy (or narcissism, sociopathy, etc). Whether it be through an internet search or a therapist, you know deep down that something within you is deeply broken. Even though you want to prove you’re happy, you also want to figure out what the hell just happened. When you read all of the red flags of psychopathy, you will experience extreme self-doubt. You will continue to blame yourself and wonder if you’re just labeling him a psychopath because you can’t handle the “truth” (his truth) of how you ruined the relationship. You oscillate back and forth between your idealizer and devaluer. How could someone who claimed to be so amazed by you also hate your guts? How could he go from obsession to contempt in the blink of an eye? It isn’t possible. There’s no way you dated a psychopath. He loved you. Right?

Understanding the Psychopath
This stage doesn’t exist in any way with the normal stages, but it’s one of the most important in your recovery process. Education can only take you so far. You need to feel what they feel. Most victims live by compassion and love, so it is nearly impossible to empathize with a psychopath. In fact, this is why they’re able to get away with so much. Because normal human beings automatically project their conscience onto everyone else. But sooner or later, you will be so consumed by psychopathy that you finally understand how their minds work. You can actually put all of his behavior into the perspective of a psychopath and suddenly everything clicks. It all makes sense, when it never did before. From the mirroring to the love-bombing to the delayed criticism to the eventual D&D. You feel disgusted. You realize you were never loved; just another target a never-ending cycle. You realize you’ve never behaved like this in any other relationship. You can look back at all of the things that made you feel paranoid, and see that they were all calculated and intentional. You come to the horrifying realization that the person you trusted was actively working against you.

Rage
Once you understand the psychopath, you’re absolutely disgusted. Your self-doubt is being replaced by anger. You know the truth. You see how you were used, manipulated, and brainwashed. You’re beyond angry. You want to murder him. You want to contact everyone in his life and tell them what he did. You want to write him a letter and tell him to burn in hell (don’t, by the way. NCEA). You obsessively talk about it with your friends and family, you need to get your story out there. You’ve been shut up and minimized for so long, your voice is finally free. You begin to feel all of the things you weren’t allowed to feel in the relationship. Whenever you accused him of cheating or lying, he would turn it around and blame it on you so you felt bad instead of mad. This cognitive dissonance has caused a huge displacement of anger. You feel delayed emotions of jealousy as you realize how long the cheating was going on, as you realize he was telling her you were abusive in order to gain her sympathy. The smear campaign makes you feel the need to prove yourself. This delayed rage is totally expected after a psychopathic relationship. It can take months, even years to feel. Please, if possible, do not act on it. You will only prove the psychopath’s point. The greatest thing you can do is remain calm and composed. It will drive him insane. He wants you to feel rage so he can show everyone how crazy you are and how much you still love him.

Depression
You will go back and forth between depression and rage for a very long time. You will have good days and bad. One day, you will think you can move on — the next, you wake up angry and screaming. You don’t want to be mad. You don’t deserve to be mad. All you did was fall in love. You isolate yourself, you surround yourself with people who understand you on discussion forums. You have obsessive, racing thoughts. The tiniest things set you off. Your boundaries are returning (or perhaps being formed for the very first time) and you can’t believe you let yourself sink so low. You realize how much you lost. Not just friends, money, life experience, etc, but also your innocence. Your kind understanding of the world has been shattered. Instead of giving people the benefit of the doubt, you suddenly have trouble trusting. You will experience constant feeling of dread and tightness in your heart.

Healing
You start asking questions. Why did this happen? What are my vulnerabilities? Of course these vulnerabilities aren’t your fault, but it is important to understand how you were able to be exploited. You’re spending time with others who have gone through something similar, so you have hope and little bursts of joy. You have validation beyond belief, often triggering you back to rage & depression, but these feelings are healthy. You are finally feeling what you were supposed to feel during the entire relationship. Everything falls into place and you can calmly & coherently describe what you went through and what happened. Instead of feeling the D&D, you can talk about it like a scientific term. You’ve made new friends, and you’re starting to realize that you’ve almost made it. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, even if it’s taking a while to get there.

Self-Discovery
You begin to discover your strengths. Many of these were strengths you always possessed but never valued. You realize your compassion, empathy, and love are not weaknesses. They are the most incredible gifts in the world, when applied to the right people. Your self-respect comes from within, not other people validating your insecurities. You start to understand who you are and who you’re truly meant to be. It took the psychopath’s nastiness to make you see exactly who you never want to be. You laugh at his old notions that “you were the same person”, because you realize you are exactly the opposite. You begin to explore your creative side, and you stop caring what others think of you. Old friendships may change as you change and become more confident. Embrace the new you, and open your heart to love again. You are free now. You should be so, incredibly proud of yourself. You made it, and your life path has forever changed for the better

This article was originally published in forum thread: Stages of Grief from a Psychopathic Relationship started by Peace View original post