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When Life Robs You..

Mental Illness

Mental Health is an industry..

An industry trying to sell an unsuspecting public on the idea that the way to ‘fix’ unwanted behaviour and feelings is with a brain chemistry altering pill.

These pills are now named ‘lifestyle’ drugs..

So now you can live your life in a way that is not ‘your truth’ and not feel too bad about it.

And after all if everybody’s doing it then it must be okay.

Maybe I have a problem with the way they are marketed, or that people use them long term without making changes in their lives.. believing their minds are deficient in some way..

So why do I felt so strongly …  because I suffered from chronic depression for 40+ years and I learnt a great deal..

The real problem is we were not born to be mindless sheep.. we were born to have personal power.

Some of us lost ours…  some very early on due to abuse, neglect, trauma, others guilt or bad decisions or a combination.

… life has robbed us..

I have always found people who experience depression or emotional, spiritual or psychological suffering to be deep thinkers, highly intelligent, visionaries, idealists, creatives, sensitives, salt of the earth types.

They ‘see’ things as they really are but all too often they remain passive to change anything. Often out of fear or that they allow themselves to get pulled along by the wolves of this world.

They fail to see the power they truly have and end up instead ‘willing victims’. They conform and lose their voice.

This causing internal unrest, distress and confusion- really a great lack of inner peace, as they are not being true to themselves or their beliefs or even who they really are..

Being a sheep is never a great option for those of vision.. that indeed would make you depressed, distressed, and have your mind fluctuating between what is right for you and what is wrong for you..

I have alway seen them as the sensitive good in an often evil world. I see them as people who have important gifts.

I just wish they could see themselves as that and get up, get constructively angry, look at the big picture on what they need to heal and go on to make their own small but significant mark in this crazy and often evil world.

Maybe they need that as motivation to get up, to heal their life, to change, to live their dream and to take back their personal power.. than some ‘lifestyle’ pill.

People suffering with depression and mental confusion need to allow themselves the time and space to heal. They need courage and encouragement, love, warmth, understanding, compassion, someone trustworthy to hear them, to look into their pasts, to gain self respect, self love, self compassion and self confidence and to take back their power.. and live their dreams.. whether that be to assist others in some healing way, bring beauty into this world, or love and compassion, make healthy changes in industry, politics, medical fields etc..

Your vision is needed..

Love and baby steps,

SilverGirl

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Don’t Believe The labels..

“Mental Illness”

Believe the labels you are given and you will remain a victim all your life..

Labels are for jars not people. Mental illness. Help end the stigma.

Oh ‘I’m bipolar’… really…. why are you bipolar? Do you know why?

I am a depressive… why? Why are you a depressive?

Let me assure you there is very real reason..

I am schizophrenic – and there is nothing they can do, except medicate me… really who is they – is that the medical profession? Well, let me tell you that is true, that is all the medical profession can do for you..

I have Chronic fatigue syndrome… again WTF …

Oh.. the doctors tell me it’s how my brain works and there is nothing they can do about it… except take my meds regularly.

Well maybe your brain can heal?…

Do you really believe doctors know everything there is to know about you and your individual emotional, physical and spiritual needs..

The real fact is people can heal… the hard thing for people to accept is it is their responsibility to heal and it takes a lot of work..

The next fact is not everyone will heal.. Why?

Because it’s hard, so hard that many would prefer to die than heal.

It is not your doctors responsibility to ‘fix’ you. They will try to assist you …  but it is your choice to be proactive outside the medical field or be as inactive as you want about it.

I am not anti medication – some people need it and they know they need it. For some people it’s a lifeline during their healing.. for others its something the feel they need for the rest of their lives..

Some people are willing to accept their diagnosis – I wasn’t. But there are people who have support systems that purely focus on accepting and ‘coping’ with their ‘illness, dwelling in their misery, believing every sacred word some ‘specialist’ says and never moving forward or changing.. Some play the blame game – I’ve been guilty of that, all it does is keep you a victim for far too long.

There are also people who never give up the search for answers.. who delve into heal their physical, emotional and physical selves

There is a reason for schizophrenia, for depression, for mental illness, for bipolar.. god the list goes on and on.. often they are serious reasons that you are yet to find out on your healing journey – so don’t accept yourself as mentally ill, or mentally weak or lazy, or unmotivated, or weak or less than anyone else.. Have the courage to keep searching and you will find the answers..

Basically you are ill at ease.. and you can be ‘ill at ease’ on all or many levels

For some people it is easier to be sick than to heal. Because healing you have to take responsibility for yourself and often you have to face your biggest fears.

It’s estimated 5% of people will actually heal themselves.

Those people would do whatever it takes to heal even if that meant leave their job, security, partner, family.

What are you really willing to lose in order to heal? Everything you think is safe?

You have to overcome fears to heal.. abandonment, survival, failure, your own potential etc..

Often healing means making huge changes, healing also means facing huge fears and dealing with great loss and pain.

Healing takes work…and it actually may take you years of mental pain and anguish to work through the emotional and spiritual side of what is causing the unbalance and ill at ease problems in your life.

It may not even be your fault it often stems from your childhood.. but still only you can ultimately heal yourself.

I spent a lot of years searching for what was ‘wrong with me’…

I allowed myself the time and space to heal. I went through every field, medical, natural health, spiritual guidance seeking… and refusing to believe depression was the natural state I was born to live in. I spent 5 years every week religiously with a therapist, I couldn’t work from the pain I was in and from feeling and processing so much. I refused medication and dealt with the pain. Although I did self medicate on sugar binges..

I’ve been thinking about some the labels and diagnosis’s I have been given. Doctors told me I didn’t have classic symptoms.

I have always been a rebel. I have never been a conformer and I read and read and read and learn maybe that’s what saved me..

Anyway

I was..

Chronically Depressed

M.E –  Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (This is what they diagnose anyone who is chronically fatigued and they don’t know why)..

Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (Got this one 2 years ago)

Dissociative

Hypervigilant

Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (another bullshit label..)

I must admit I spent my life avoiding the humiliating medical profession and delved into healing my spirit.

I don’t go to doctors and I haven’t taken a antibiotic in 20 years.. I did try anti depressants once and mild anti psychotics for c-ptsd but lasted one week with a fuck this shit attitude. Once lithium was offered. Maybe the lithium may have been better than the sugar binges. Sugar made me fat..

So have I functioned – no not really but through the pain and suffering I gained wisdom.

What was really making my spirit so depressed.

Was it my marriage, my career, my childhood, my historical past, some evil force – I searched everything

.. and as I searched I found everything.. and it was all of that.

What I found were the causes of my mood swings, my physical pain, my 47 yr depressed state, my isolation, my search of meaning in life, my chronic tiredness, my hypervigilance, my extreme sensitivities, my dissociation, my feeling like I don’t fit, my feelings of failure

I got from my 20+ years search, more answers than I could ever have imagined or believed..

And what I found out after my huge healing journey is that there is nothing wrong with me. 

I am unique, perfect and special just the way I am..

whether I have down days, hypervigilance etc..

My life has made me who I am today and I am amazing because of it..

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Pilgrimage

My house sold at auction on Thursday! Finally I’m free and feeling the pull to travel to what has always felt like my spiritual home, Southern France. My 18 year old son is travelling with me to Paris and then taking his own path and calling to Spain (also a place I’m pulled to..)

It’s taken a lot of work for me to get to this point and I can’t help feel this journey will be life changing… I’m nervous and excited.

(Just need to find a loving carer for my little fur baby).

Love & baby steps,

SG x

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The Healing Power Of Pause

“In bullfighting there is an interesting parallel to the pause as a place of refuge and renewal. It is believed that in the midst of a fight, a bull can find his own particular area of safety in the arena. There he can reclaim his strength and power. This place and inner state are called his querencia. As long as the bull remains enraged and reactive, the matador is in charge. Yet when he finds his querencia, he gathers his strength and loses his fear. From the matador’s perspective, at this point the bull is truly dangerous, for he has tapped into his power.”

— Tara Brach, Radical Acceptance
the problem is we never recognize an act as cruel unless we are the ones being hurt:

It has taken me so long to learn the power of a pause. I was a disciple of effort—and misunderstood the pause. I believed pausing wouldn’t just be a short rest, I believed that it would mean ‘losing ground.’ That any lack of forward motion meant you were going backwards. I didn’t understand that the pause is a time of work all its own.

As a child therapist, I understood quiet. Children naturally work and then pause. They work at one thing and then shift to another. They get engaged in what they are building and ignore you. Pausing the conversation and doing their own work. Child therapy has its own rhythm—has its own ebbs and flows. Much of what you do is follow along and be there—stay with them.

In my own healing I had a much harder time with pausing. Yes, I was used to effort, but it was more than that. Being more visual than musical, I saw the pauses as white space, and white space in art is what allows an object to stand out—to be seen. Pausing felt dangerous—there is no way to hide in a pause—no distractions. I would be seen by another, but I would also be able to see, and hear, myself in the pauses. Much like the pause in music, feelings would reverberate. I would feel them. So for a long time constant motion felt safe, and pausing didn’t.

In the beginning, exhaustion substituted as a pause. I would only be able to stop and take things in when I simply got too tired of driving forward. But in those moments I was really aware of the feeling of calm, connection and groundedness that could come from these moments of pausing. Exhaustion would force me to let go and rest.

Mozart said that the music is not in the notes, but in the silence between them. And I have found that the music of healing comes with the pauses. The pause you need can be a simple pause in conversation. Or a break from forward motion while you sort through what you have already talked about. It can be a break from hard work altogether—a chance to write, play, draw. Or it can be a complete break—a time out from healing while you focus on something in your daily life that needs attention.

In pauses you feel your feelings, you renew your energy and find, as Tara Brach states above, there’s not just rest or calm in the pause, there is also power. When you can pause, when you can stay, you realize you are bigger than the thing you have been running from or hiding from. You realize that you have the capacity to hold it, to feel it, to heal from it. Whereas the trauma had you feel powerless, surviving the pauses reacquaints you with your own power in a quiet and wonderful way. And it’s a place you can always return to. That place of rest. The pause.

© 2016 Gretchen L. Schmelzer, PhD

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Energetically Sensitive Souls

Oh wow… SG x

In the new paradigm, we do not become more productive and action-oriented by rushing through life, bullying ourselves, or intimidating our innocence into submission. Instead, we become more inspired, motivated, and intentional when our hearts have been honored, accepted, nurtured, and loved as never before. Perhaps you have come to see how the force of your will cannot create what only the softness of your approach and the elegance of your gaze can ever bring forth. No matter the outcomes you chase or the agendas you maintain, what if you stopped for one moment and asked yourself: “How much more thoughtful, gentle, supportive, and kind must I be to myself in order to feel safe enough to succeed, prosper, and shine at my highest capacity?”

What you perceive as self-sabotage is ultimately the grace of your innocent nature momentarily deferring the advancements of external success, until loving yourself becomes your highest priority. Once your priorities have been rearranged from the inside out, you will find an effortless flow that guides you forward to manifest the incredible success, immaculate health, radiant wholeness, and infinite-flowing prosperity that you were always destined to discover. Even when you think: “I’m already doing that”, may it be used as an opportunity to embrace impatience at a deeper level by loving the one who is still attached to specific outcomes as they have never been loved before.

While many beings seem to be successful prior to becoming their most loving self, it is but a cosmic set-up that leads to an existential realization that all the money and success in the world cannot create the wholeness that comes to life through our oneness with divinity. While this set-up is common for narcissistic-type egos, the energetically-sensitive soul traverses a different journey altogether. An energetically-sensitive soul typically has an inferior ego to integrate. Instead of being fed by believing it is better than others, it is an ego fueled by feeling inferior or less than the world in view. Because energetically-sensitive souls play such a key role in anchoring light for the awakening of humanity, we have signed up for a journey, where our internal spiritual alignment gets established before we taste the joy of worldly success, existential wholeness, infinite abundance, and unwavering confidence.

When spiritual alignment comes before worldly successes, we are able to honor each triumph as manifestations of our connection with Spirit without creating attachments to the things that naturally come and go. As the old paradigm collapses and a new era of humanity dawns, success, fame, prosperity, and power will be accessible to the degree of one’s alignment in love and expansion of consciousness. This hasn’t been the case in the past, but it is the wave of the future that we live out, as a foreshadowing for those who are unware of a deeper spiritual impulse that calls them home.

As self-worth elevates through the practice of self-love, one’s highest qualities begin to blossom. Once rooted in the garden of humanity and fully blossomed, a fragrance emanates from the core of your being, unlike any other fragrance that has ever been known, to accelerate the evolutionary process for all growing seeds. From this space, you step into the light of your highest potential as you dare to receive first the endless wellspring of eternal blessings that inspires the world around you to follow your lead.

There is no such thing as waiting for others to heal before you become whole, or waiting for a world to awaken before opening your eyes. Instead, you must dare to go deeper and joyfully into the ecstasy of self-care and unconditional love, further than anyone else around you seems to go, in order to become a beacon of hope that illuminates a path to invite every heart out of hiding. This is our destiny and it is now time for the best chapters of our epic saga to be revealed for the well-being of all. No matter how long you’ve been waiting for the old to end, in reality, you’ve been waiting for this moment – a point in time where a brand new reality begins. Welcome home, Eternal One. Welcome home.

Matt Kahn

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Life-Preserving Passivity Becomes Life-Inhibiting Passivity

“Regaining power over her [his] life—every human’s birthright—is the incest/ abuse survivor’s primary task…

This area of her [his] life has been so punished and banished that she [he] has relinquished it in favor of life-preserving passivity (now life-inhibiting passivity)…

Because of the incestuous abuse, she [he] stops considering choices and develops the capacity to ‘adapt to what is.’”

~ Secret Survivors by E. Sue Blume