My house sold at auction on Thursday! Finally I’m free and feeling the pull to travel to what has always felt like my spiritual home, Southern France. My 18 year old son is travelling with me to Paris and then taking his own path and calling to Spain (also a place I’m pulled to..)

It’s taken a lot of work for me to get to this point and I can’t help feel this journey will be life changing… I’m nervous and excited.

(Just need to find a loving carer for my little fur baby).

Love & baby steps,

SG x


The Healing Power Of Pause

“In bullfighting there is an interesting parallel to the pause as a place of refuge and renewal. It is believed that in the midst of a fight, a bull can find his own particular area of safety in the arena. There he can reclaim his strength and power. This place and inner state are called his querencia. As long as the bull remains enraged and reactive, the matador is in charge. Yet when he finds his querencia, he gathers his strength and loses his fear. From the matador’s perspective, at this point the bull is truly dangerous, for he has tapped into his power.”

— Tara Brach, Radical Acceptance
the problem is we never recognize an act as cruel unless we are the ones being hurt:

It has taken me so long to learn the power of a pause. I was a disciple of effort—and misunderstood the pause. I believed pausing wouldn’t just be a short rest, I believed that it would mean ‘losing ground.’ That any lack of forward motion meant you were going backwards. I didn’t understand that the pause is a time of work all its own.

As a child therapist, I understood quiet. Children naturally work and then pause. They work at one thing and then shift to another. They get engaged in what they are building and ignore you. Pausing the conversation and doing their own work. Child therapy has its own rhythm—has its own ebbs and flows. Much of what you do is follow along and be there—stay with them.

In my own healing I had a much harder time with pausing. Yes, I was used to effort, but it was more than that. Being more visual than musical, I saw the pauses as white space, and white space in art is what allows an object to stand out—to be seen. Pausing felt dangerous—there is no way to hide in a pause—no distractions. I would be seen by another, but I would also be able to see, and hear, myself in the pauses. Much like the pause in music, feelings would reverberate. I would feel them. So for a long time constant motion felt safe, and pausing didn’t.

In the beginning, exhaustion substituted as a pause. I would only be able to stop and take things in when I simply got too tired of driving forward. But in those moments I was really aware of the feeling of calm, connection and groundedness that could come from these moments of pausing. Exhaustion would force me to let go and rest.

Mozart said that the music is not in the notes, but in the silence between them. And I have found that the music of healing comes with the pauses. The pause you need can be a simple pause in conversation. Or a break from forward motion while you sort through what you have already talked about. It can be a break from hard work altogether—a chance to write, play, draw. Or it can be a complete break—a time out from healing while you focus on something in your daily life that needs attention.

In pauses you feel your feelings, you renew your energy and find, as Tara Brach states above, there’s not just rest or calm in the pause, there is also power. When you can pause, when you can stay, you realize you are bigger than the thing you have been running from or hiding from. You realize that you have the capacity to hold it, to feel it, to heal from it. Whereas the trauma had you feel powerless, surviving the pauses reacquaints you with your own power in a quiet and wonderful way. And it’s a place you can always return to. That place of rest. The pause.

© 2016 Gretchen L. Schmelzer, PhD


Energetically Sensitive Souls

Oh wow… SG x

In the new paradigm, we do not become more productive and action-oriented by rushing through life, bullying ourselves, or intimidating our innocence into submission. Instead, we become more inspired, motivated, and intentional when our hearts have been honored, accepted, nurtured, and loved as never before. Perhaps you have come to see how the force of your will cannot create what only the softness of your approach and the elegance of your gaze can ever bring forth. No matter the outcomes you chase or the agendas you maintain, what if you stopped for one moment and asked yourself: “How much more thoughtful, gentle, supportive, and kind must I be to myself in order to feel safe enough to succeed, prosper, and shine at my highest capacity?”

What you perceive as self-sabotage is ultimately the grace of your innocent nature momentarily deferring the advancements of external success, until loving yourself becomes your highest priority. Once your priorities have been rearranged from the inside out, you will find an effortless flow that guides you forward to manifest the incredible success, immaculate health, radiant wholeness, and infinite-flowing prosperity that you were always destined to discover. Even when you think: “I’m already doing that”, may it be used as an opportunity to embrace impatience at a deeper level by loving the one who is still attached to specific outcomes as they have never been loved before.

While many beings seem to be successful prior to becoming their most loving self, it is but a cosmic set-up that leads to an existential realization that all the money and success in the world cannot create the wholeness that comes to life through our oneness with divinity. While this set-up is common for narcissistic-type egos, the energetically-sensitive soul traverses a different journey altogether. An energetically-sensitive soul typically has an inferior ego to integrate. Instead of being fed by believing it is better than others, it is an ego fueled by feeling inferior or less than the world in view. Because energetically-sensitive souls play such a key role in anchoring light for the awakening of humanity, we have signed up for a journey, where our internal spiritual alignment gets established before we taste the joy of worldly success, existential wholeness, infinite abundance, and unwavering confidence.

When spiritual alignment comes before worldly successes, we are able to honor each triumph as manifestations of our connection with Spirit without creating attachments to the things that naturally come and go. As the old paradigm collapses and a new era of humanity dawns, success, fame, prosperity, and power will be accessible to the degree of one’s alignment in love and expansion of consciousness. This hasn’t been the case in the past, but it is the wave of the future that we live out, as a foreshadowing for those who are unware of a deeper spiritual impulse that calls them home.

As self-worth elevates through the practice of self-love, one’s highest qualities begin to blossom. Once rooted in the garden of humanity and fully blossomed, a fragrance emanates from the core of your being, unlike any other fragrance that has ever been known, to accelerate the evolutionary process for all growing seeds. From this space, you step into the light of your highest potential as you dare to receive first the endless wellspring of eternal blessings that inspires the world around you to follow your lead.

There is no such thing as waiting for others to heal before you become whole, or waiting for a world to awaken before opening your eyes. Instead, you must dare to go deeper and joyfully into the ecstasy of self-care and unconditional love, further than anyone else around you seems to go, in order to become a beacon of hope that illuminates a path to invite every heart out of hiding. This is our destiny and it is now time for the best chapters of our epic saga to be revealed for the well-being of all. No matter how long you’ve been waiting for the old to end, in reality, you’ve been waiting for this moment – a point in time where a brand new reality begins. Welcome home, Eternal One. Welcome home.

Matt Kahn


Life-Preserving Passivity Becomes Life-Inhibiting Passivity

“Regaining power over her [his] life—every human’s birthright—is the incest/ abuse survivor’s primary task…

This area of her [his] life has been so punished and banished that she [he] has relinquished it in favor of life-preserving passivity (now life-inhibiting passivity)…

Because of the incestuous abuse, she [he] stops considering choices and develops the capacity to ‘adapt to what is.’”

~ Secret Survivors by E. Sue Blume