The cause of secondary depression in childhood is the absorbed emotional pain from a loved one suffering from chronic trauma, abuse or neglect. Children are emotionally connected to their mother in-utero – what she feels, they feel. They are emotional sponges and when a loved one is in chronic emotional pain they suffer just as deeply as if the pain was their own.
Many children become highly empathetic at a young age and highly sensitive to the suffering of others.
“If we cannot forgive and release the pain, it pins us to the train track of victimization and we remain tied the emotional wreckage for however long we continue to carry the burden.
It is one thing to be victimized once, to carry the scars forward and another to suffer over and over in a mental nightmare that keeps us chained to the same pain throughout our lives. We must then, love ourselves enough to cut the cords.
We do not have to remain victims. We can become survivors. Overcomers. We can (and we must) rise up, raise up, take back our power and live with as much dignity as we can muster.
It takes an amazing amount of courage to overcome our pain and not return hate for hate, evil for evil, blow for blow. Only the bravest of the brave manage to do so. I hope that you are brave today, as brave, maybe braver than you know you are. And if you have children, do it not for your sake, but for the ones who look to you to understand how life should be.”
~ Victoria Cayce
Great article by Paul Levy (a pioneer in the field of spiritual emergence, and a healer in private practice) regarding psychiatric abuse (psychiatry’s invalidation of trauma and protection of the abuser). Psychiatry makes the sane ones.. the sick ones, the invalids (the in-valids).
I am a survivor of severe psychiatric abuse. There was a year or so in the early 1980’s when I was in and out of psychiatric hospitals at least four times. During my visits to the hospital I was in the midst of a spiritual awakening that I was struggling to contain that was triggered and complicated by extreme psychological abuse at the hands of my father, who was a very sick man. I was suffering so deeply from the psychic violence perpetrated upon my mother and me by my father that it was making me “sick.” One of the most difficult parts of my ordeal in the hospitals was not being listened to by the psychiatrists, either about the abuse by my father or the spiritual awakening. Spiritual emergences/emergencies oftentimes become activated because of a deep experience of wounding, abuse, or trauma. In its initial stage, a spiritual awakening can look like and mimic a nervous breakdown, as our habitual structures of holding ourselves together fall apart and break down so that a deeper and more coherent expression of our intrinsic wholeness can emerge. The spiritual awakening aspect of my experience was so off psychiatry’s map that it wasn’t even remotely recognized. Instead of hearing me, about either the abuse or the awakening, I was immediately pathologized and labeled as the sick one. Being cast in the role of the “identified patient,” I was assured that I was going to be mentally ill for the rest of my days, as if I was being given a life sentence with no possibility for parole, with no time off for good behavior. The fact that I wanted to dialogue about this and question their diagnosis was proof, to the psychiatrists in charge of me, of my illness. The whole thing was totally nuts. Fully licensed and certified by the state, the psychiatric system’s abuse of its position of power was truly unconscionable. What the profession of psychiatry was unconsciously en-acting was truly crazy-making for those under their dominion. I was lucky to escape the psychiatric world with my sanity intact. Many others are not so fortunate.
Fuck you and fuck off to the psychological abusers in my life.. Your lies, manipulations and deceit made me look the crazy one. Finally free of you and life is looking good :o)
Psychological abuse is debilitating and it’s harder for people to understand. If he punches her it’s very easy for her to say, ‘That’s violence and it’s not okay.’ It’s easier for her to seek help.
But psychological abuse is sick and twisted, manipulative and subtle.
“The child who expresses feelings that her [his] family cannot afford to face is the enemy in that family’s view of what it needs to survive. They treat her [him] as if it’s “her [him] or them,” and she [he] believes it… Sadly, the adult that she [he] becomes often treats the child inside with the same disregard and repressive attitudes that the adults who surrounded her [him] did.”
~ Secret Survivors by E. Sue Blume