Empaths and Narcissists: Opposite Sides of the Coin of Dysfunction?

JerkBusters

In my quest to better understand how I (repeatedly) got to be on the receiving end of narcissistic abuse, I have read several books that indicate there are many common traits evident in the victims of narcissists, not only among the narcissists themselves.

In Alice Miller’s book, “The Drama of the Gifted Child”, I first read about some interesting commonalities between narcissists and their victims, as well. According to the author, these common points are (from the book’s second section, “Depression and Grandiosity: Two Related Forms of Denial”):

• A false self that has led to the loss of the potential true self

• A fragility of self-esteem because of a lack of confidence in one’s own feelings and wishes

• Perfectionism

• Denial of rejected feelings

• A preponderance of exploitative relationships

• An enormous fear of loss of love and therefore a great readiness to conform

• Split-off aggression

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