The Real Cause Of Bipolar Disorder

This is good and easy to understand video by Sean Blackwell. I experienced a spiritual crisis/ transformation/ awakening 12 years ago. (more below..)

Check out this video. Worth the 9 mins. Tell me what you think..

Thrown into utter spiritual confusion

The crisis I had was sudden and started after doing yoga and eating clean. It was surreal, traumatising, terrifying, lasting for 14 days during which I was a constant state super heightened awareness/ intuition and having visions while awake. I was living alone at the time  .. thank goodness. I was staying in a hotel in my city.

I started manifesting my thoughts, seeing the historical past, archetypes, potential future in people, my life etc.. like a big screen movie projecting before me. It was huge, too much to explain really but I was so terrified by what I saw I couldn’t eat, digest and had emotional diarrh (let’s not mention that!!)

The visions stopped when I returned home to my family but I wasn’t the same I was unanchored by the experience. I keep relatively quiet about it, aside from those I thought could understand or at least not judge me. I’knew’ not to talk to my family about it, my father was a staunch atheist and would consider me crazy and my mother a staunch Catholic would consider me a heretic (yes, even in this age…) as parts of my visions did have some history relating to the Roman Catholic Church, the inquisition etc..

I was never hospitalized, nor did I take meds or talk to mainstream doctors purely because I didn’t trust them. I felt they were the last people that could help me in this spiritual state. I was lucky to have a friend to talk to that didn’t judge my crazy experiences.. Even though I didn’t understand what was happening and neither did she, at least I could express my utter confusion.. so grateful for her.

I was traumatized, deeply deeply confused, and out of body for a couple of years after the incident, and went on to have more experiences at a later date.

I now see it as transformational, my spiritual awakening and an amazing gift, and I’m so grateful I had some non threatening support. Shame it was just so intensely confusing on my mind!

It took me many years to understand it and integrate it, it took baby steps and lots of helpers along the way… some good, many not so good..

I went on to make some big changes in my life, left my 28 year relationship, healed my childhood and started to understand my historical trauma. I sussed out my gifts, simplified my life and let go of the people who stressed me out.

I am now starting to do the work that is important to me and my crisis pointed me in the direction.

SG x


8 thoughts on “The Real Cause Of Bipolar Disorder

  1. You had a spiritual emergence SG. Its part of launching on the path. My older sister was so called “bi polar” she had amazing insight into things the family thought were crazy but were profound. Smack bang on meds. So sad. A botched spiritual emergency.
    I’ve had my own. Not as dramatic as yours. Did you ever read the book by Stan and Christine Grof on spiritual emergency? The mainstream psyche profession has no idea.

    • H Deborah, sorry about your sister <3 Yes I did read that book during that time. Really helpful. I haven’t mentioned too much about my spiritual experiences on the blog because they are rather huge .. I was lucky that I had a friend to talk to during that time.. I found out much later her mother had been hospitalized when she was a child in the 60s and given meds and shock treatment because spirits (lost souls) visited her at night. She was like a 'ghost whisperer' In the 60s she told a doctor her experiences and they thought she was nuts. But even now at 90 years old they still come to her every night. My friend listened to me and believed in me.. and when she finally told me her story regarding her mother it made sense why she believed in me and why she warned me to keep quiet :o) I feel my path is to bring the awareness into mainstream.

      • I have just refound this reply SG over a year is so important to have someone who understands. Great blogs you are are on your path. I would be so intersted to know of your experiences but know also why you would be reluctant to share…

      • Hi there, thank you :o) I guess the reason I haven’t shared too much is that so much happened and on so many levels that it would fill a book! I really don’t know where to begin. I have integrated the experiences and understand the bigger picture and it’s really very fascinating. It taught me a great deal about the spiritual aspects of our lives regarding healing, that healing often has to go way back and it needs to be very gentle as not to re-traumatize. I’d be happy to discuss any experience with you, you mentioned you have also had your own experiences, would you share a little .. not sure if you’ve posted about it.

      • I havent really had those kind of deep visionary insights such as I have read of others but my late sister did. I get deep untuitions about things and often uve been taught to deny them but I truly believe gifted people have these experiences. I get presentient dreams that tell me of things that happen some years later though. Very intersted in your journey. SG

    • I’m so sorry you’re having some major health challenges. I didn’t know.. I haven’t been reading any blogs for quite a few months.

      Sending love, healing and hugs EftDN xx

      Please remember whatever the doctors say, these challenges are to push us to heal. Personally I found there is much growth, learning and levels to healing. There’s the physical, emotional and much overlooked spiritual aspects. And it really does take time, patience, self love, gentleness and baby steps.

      My spiritual emergency was really a deep healing crisis. No doctor or therapist could have helped me go that deep, problem is I had to decipher it myself, wish I could have found a spiritual teacher but I had to learn it for myself, and maybe one day I can help others.

      I needed to see things on a deeper level. It pushed me to leave my husband, survive on my own, let go of toxins, face fears, sell my house and travel to new places. If I had not got sick, or had that crisis, I would have happily stayed exactly where I was… not reaching my potential and miserable.

      I’ve spoken to many people who found their challenge with cancer, in retrospect was the best thing that happened to them, a blessing in disguise because it changed their life for the better. They became true to themselves, wiser, learnt to acknowledge and honour their instincts and feelings, they got rid of what was toxic to them, and became their best selves xx


      • I think that is very true its like the cancer is a wake up call that kicks your butt and we do grow through illness and pain and cancer puts us more in touch with our body, pain, past trauma and our souls.

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