“ I used to feel heroic for sticking with abusive relationships. I believed that ‘love conquers all’, which to me meant that love gave me power.
I thought I could make everything better through love.
That worked well for my abusers; the worse they treated me, the better I treated them. ‘Killing with kindness’ is really victim mentality. My so-called love was really manipulation. Placating abusers never worked for me as a long-term solution.
It perpetuated abusive patterns by validating them. That wasn’t love for myself or for my abusers. ”