Resolution

Well it seems getting angry and being assertive worked. My daughter really toned down and withdraw her fighting stance.

She can be a bully, so standing up to her worked.

We actually continued to talk calmly and realized that we are chalk and cheese and we tried hard but need to give it up.

I won’t spend my life having to monitor my feelings to be around her and when the sh*t hits the fan it’s just exhausting and she’s really unreasonable. It takes days out of my life recovering from the storm.. and it’s a cycle.

I’m still not functioning, no energy, feel like I’ve run an emotional marathon.

My daughter definitely has narcissistic traits. The first 5 years of her life were very good and she was so loved by her Dad and I. He definitely spoilt her though and I got really ill from burnout when she was 5 and life was not that good after that.

I feel bad when I’m around her, and when we go ‘no contact’ I’m sad because I love her but at the same time I feel free, and I’m free of depression and I feel like doing a happy dance :o(

Sad, but I really believe being a narcissist is a choice, she knows she has her father’s tendencies, she’s really smart but feels she doesn’t need counselling.

She’s 23 years old and her gorgeous boyfriend is starting therapy because she feels he has communication issues (not her though).

Her last relationship was for about 4 years and they were young and the boy was cute, by the end of the 4 years he looked like he’d been through the wringer.

Will she change or grow out of it? Maybe but not for a very long time and I feel it will only be a major life crisis that pushes her to address these issues.

SG x

 

 

 

 

 

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31 thoughts on “Resolution

  1. See i told u she will come back. But yeah looks like she might again pull back. Its better if she has a boyfriend and she feels comfortable communicating with him. Ur pain would be reduced . 23 is a young age but she might not still listen to u and turn rebellious

    • She can back humble but by then I’d had enough and called it quits. It’s too hard right now. I can’t afford to be up and down emotionally and sometimes you need to walk away and take care of yourself. She is very rebellious, never listens to anyone!!

      • Selling my house, travelling with my son to a country I’m called to. Spending some time there. I think it will be healing. I feel I have some generational healing to do there. Coming home, hopefully clearer and brighter and setting up my business as a healer. Travelling between both countries that I love..

      • I think travelling should help. But starting up your business will take time but good that u have decided on something . I wish u all the very best .

      • I never decided on being a healer.. I’d much prefer something easier :o) But a healer is who I am. Out of interest what is your belief system? Do you believe you have a soul?

      • True, I also believe it’s eternal. The energy of you soul cannot die. The work I do is with healing the spirit .. serious lack of this in Western culture. We have therapists and doctors but the soul healing runs deeper.

      • I always like have healthy conversation and u seem to be open to that and receive my feedbacks in a gentle way. Ur acceptance level is good.and that’s what is important on any relationship u make. And that’s how u touched my soul.

      • That’s a great answer. It is hard to find people who are trusting and accepting .. I trust because I trust myself I guess. And I accept all people but doesn’t mean I want to hang out with all people :o) What is you blog about?

      • I blog what seems to motivate me , inspire me ,what seems to be driving force to achieve more for me. Few poems also and few brainstorming things I do at office too..

      • Sounds good, writing is a good outlet to express. I originally started my blog to help others learn and heal from my experiences – it’s been a little of that but mostly has helped me.. never expected that. How did you come across my blog?

      • Most people who follow my blog have experienced childhood trauma, abuse, neglect.. and have mental health conditions due to this. Any experiences like that?

    • Hi there, no :o) I can’t heal anybody.. Letting loose is definitely what I’m doing :o) Mutually gone no contact and I feel better already – free! Just ran an emotional marathon with her and got nowhere. Exhausting..

    • Actually nmykel I realize have been trying to heal my daughter… for years. She’s always walks straight towards the darkness instead of away from it. She chooses the easy road instead of the right road. I guess she has her own path, that way for some reason, hopefully to learn and grow and I need stop trying to control, heal and save her and.. let her go. I can’t go that way though… guess I love her and just wanted to keep her in my life. I’ll pray for her and I hope she can find the light switch one day. Makes me sad :o(

  2. I feel worried for your daughter’s boyfriend, SG. Narcissists often try to get their partners into counselling instead of looking at themselves. I think its brave and wise of you to make the choice and take the stand you are.

    • I feel for him too… If she’s pushed to change in the future (by some crisis), I believe she could go through therapy, but at 23 she has no interest. I think having children would wake her up (her family dynamics repeating would wake her up.. ) But at present she’s too young and thinks she knows it all. I’ve seen these dynamics in mothers and daughters before… the father spoilt the daughter, bullied the wife and then the daughter becomes a bully.. As much as I love her I’d prefer to walk away and live! I have a no bullying rule..

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