Fear, Anxiety, Grief, And Self Sabotage

Emotional stress and trying out Bach Flower Essences

Okay so life is a little hard. I’m experiencing extreme fear and anxiety which has been causing me to self sabotage. I’ve been overeating for over a month and now I am about a dress and a half size bigger :o(

I’m not being too hard on myself but it feels awful and uncomfortable when all my clothes are clinging to my hips and now podgey belly. My skin is not glowing, instead it’s dehydrated, spotty and I look and feel unhealthy.

How hurting I must be to do this.. :o(

I’ve been grieving my family but I don’t want contact with them. I can’t fix it but that doesn’t stop the pain to my heart and soul. There is a possibility I have unfinished emotional work with my Dad.. I possibly need to write him a letter/ email?  And maybe I’ll send it.. or maybe not.

So it’s now time to stop the overeating. I deserve love and comfort but food is not the answer. I think that’s what I’ve been needing love and comfort. So how else can I love and comfort myself in healthier ways.

Talking, friends, nature, self compassion? Hmmm.. shame ice cream and chips are unhealthy sometimes nothing beats them..

I am making sure I’m going to weekly groups, such lovely people I’m meeting. It’s therapy in itself being vulnerable and listening to other people’s experiences.

The fear I’ve been experiencing is ‘karmic fear'(generational healing work) and something I need to address after I sell my house and travel. I know exactly the work I need to do and this is causing me underlying (I would say extreme) anxiety and fear. Ultimately the outcome will be good but that doesn’t stop these feelings.

It ‘came to me’ intuitively that I should get some Bach Flowers Essences to help settle me, and that intuitively it will help me continue to function day to day during this time.

I’ve been in freeze mode (and I can’t afford that right now..)

So yesterday I went and bought four that felt right. The store was quite depleted in their range so I made do.

Hopefully they will help, somehow I feel they will. Also my GP has referred me to free talk therapy which I think I’ll take up, someone to talk to regarding my grief with my family may be good right now (the karmic stuff I will definitely leave out, these are things I only share with people that ‘get it’).

These are the 4 Bach Flowers I purchased.

Star of Bethlehem – ‘COMFORT’ in times of grief or shock.

Rock Rose – ‘FEARLESSNESS’ in times of extreme fear.

Hornbeam – ‘MENTAL STRENGTH’ good for procrastination, feeling too tired and unmotivated to do anything.

Honeysuckle – ‘LIVE IN THE PRESENT’ good if you feel stuck in the past or caught in a time warp. Escaping the present.

So far I’ve taken the comfort (Star of Bethlehem) and strangely I feel better. I feel much more compassion towards myself. I feel I don’t deserve to continue hurting myself (by overeating). I’ve had enough people hurt me I don’t need to continue it to myself.

Somehow the pain is still there but I feel calmer about it. I feel comforted and that I want to comfort myself in gentle ways.. instead of aggressive ways like binge eating..

Anyone else tried Bach Flowers with good results?

Love & baby steps,

SG x

 

 

 

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2 thoughts on “Fear, Anxiety, Grief, And Self Sabotage

  1. I haven’t tried Bach Flowers, but I have been using essential oils lately. I use a portable diffuser, a necklace, and sometimes just apply straight to my body. How are the Bach Flowers working out?

    • Hi there AoA, well right now I’m desperate for help so I’d give anything a go! I always found these things a little flakey – like crystals and bach flowers etc.. That was until I found I was attracted to the crystal labradorite, just because I thought it was pretty. It just happened that I would buy earrings and necklaces with this stone in it, I didn’t even realize.. I later found out it is the very crystal I needed for the highest psychic protection and strangely enough it was the only crystal I owned… I was always wearing it.
      Yesterday I added Honeysuckle to my remedy – which helps you stay in the ‘present’ which I need because I’m always in the past or future.. got to say I feel different. I feel calmer. I cried A LOT!! yesterday which was weird but almost like it was something I needed to do rather than binge eat my emotions. I think I cried out my grief.
      My feelings of fear and anxiety are practically gone. I just feel in a place of acceptance of my next steps … but I’m still not really taking physical action.. I think it will come though. Quite amazing really! I think I’m a converted fan :o) Tell me how are the essential oils. I think I’ll look into those too. Sending you love dear one <3

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