This post is eerie for me because I so badly needed to read this today. I’ve been holding on and holding on to things I love and dreams I wanted , when it’s really not the direction I need to go in. It’s really only been causing me complete chaos.
Letting go of things we love and dreams we have is so damn hard. A marriage, a home, a best friend, your treasures, a career, a family, a country.. Often the longer we hold on the worse the position we get ourselves in.
After a long struggle I’m letting go today
This post is a must read.
I Love You, But I’m Letting Go
How many times in your life have you needed to say this?
And do you need to say it again?
I’m not just talking about letting go of a relationship. I’m talking about letting go of other things that you love, but which might be blocking you from the path that you really need to be on.
You can love cigarettes, for instance, and know that they aren’t helping you.
You can love your hometown, while knowing at the same time that you need to go.
You can love your house, and know that it’s too big for you to take care of anymore.
You can love the people that you’ve worked with for ten years, but maybe it’s time to let go, and start looking toward a new job.
You can love going out to drinks with your friends on a weekday evening, while also knowing that this is the very thing that makes you too tired for the rest of the week to pursue your passions.
While I’ve been on tour for BIG MAGIC, I’ve been asking the audience at the end of every night think about things they might need to start saying “no” to, in order to have more time and energy to do the things they keep saying they want to do.
The number one reason people tell me they aren’t practicing their creativity is because they don’t have time and energy for it — especially after they have given themselves away to everyone else.
Long ago, when I was struggling to become a writer, a wise older woman once said to me, “What are you willing to give up, in order to have the life you keep saying you want?”
I said, “You’re right — I really need to start learning how to say no to things I don’t want to do.”
She corrected me: “No, it’s much harder than that. You need to learn how start saying no to things you DO want to do, with the recognition that you have only one life, and you don’t have time and energy for everything.”
That’s when I pretty much gave up watching TV. (Don’t worry — I’VE COME BACK TO IT!) But for a few years in my twenties, when I was desperately trying to learn how to write better, and to become a published author, I had to say to TV, “I love you, but I’m letting you go.”
Because I knew what I wanted to do (write) and I knew how I wanted to do it (with joyful energy)…and so many, many things had to be let go.
You would choke on your cornflakes if I told you some of the things I’ve said no to in my lifetime. Beautiful opportunities. Gorgeous adventures. Fun experiences. The chance to meet amazing people. And so many weekday night invitations, to go out for drinks with friends. (Weekends, too, often.)
I would have loved to have done all those things. But there is only one of me. And I know what I really want to be doing with my life, and I know what it takes to create that sort of devoted focus.
Practice saying it with me, everyone: “I love you, but I’m letting you go.”
I don’t know what the thing is (or things are) that you need to start saying no to, in order to live the life you keep saying you want.
But I have a suspicion that perhaps YOU know.
Is it maybe time?
LG (Elizabeth Gilbert)