Social Anxiety And Setting Boundaries
I came home, read my emails and felt a sense of dread as another man has private messaged me from the group.
It’s stressed me out.
It’s hard for me to remain calm in these situations. I have issues with men… I have been traumatized by men.
As I start socializing with a mixed gender group obviously I’m going to have to learn how to deal with males.
I didn’t mind talking to them at the group .. but privately after I have barely spoken to them – isn’t that weird…? I guess I start getting scared. It’s not a conscious thing, somehow I’m triggered.. I can only assume those who trigger me are the ones that aren’t safe for me.. I guess I am learning self protection at 47!!
I have never liked male attention, some women thrive in it. The minute I grew a set of boobs – I suddenly felt like I had packs of dogs around me.
I attracted the ones that were charming, controlling, emotionally stunted, immature, incapable of love, treated women like objects, damaged..
I had terribly low self esteem. I had been seriously emotionally neglected in my childhood. Being seriously neglected by men in my adulthood became my established ‘normal’.
I guess I was conditioned to expect and accept breadcrumbs.
I logically know not all men are like that. There are good men, but I haven’t met them. I have never in my life had a male as a friend.. so this is definitely foreign to me.
I need to remind myself ..
I need to connect, I want healthy connections, I deserve good friends – males and females, I deserve people who get me and love me and I can handle this in healthy ways.
I am safe, I can set boundaries and I can protect myself – emotionally, psychically and psychologically.
Whatever I ‘see’ is okay… I can be objective on what I see and I can make calm, healthy and rational decisions based on my intuition rather than letting it get out of hand and stress me out..
I am okay
Nobody is going to hurt me
I can take care of myself
I am safe