I don’t like the word narcissist, it’s a horrible word and a cruel label.
That being said, the narcissist in my life nearly killed me, and even after I left him, he was still determined to destroy me.
Narcissists can be extremely dangerous, and can go into a rage and seriously hurt you – especially if you attempt to leave them.
Everything I write about narcissism is from experience. I came from a narcissistic family, was in a relationship with one for 28 yrs and one of my adult children displays narcissistic behavior. For my own health and sanity I have no contact with my ex, my adult daughter I am gentle and understanding with but I also set boundaries.
I studied my ex’s behavior and I studied my own behavior. I also studied the dynamics of our relationship – mostly due to utter confusion.
What I write about is not to excuse their behavior but really about moving on with your own life. Understanding yourself and your own issues and the reason you attract people like this into your life.
A ‘to do’ list..
To stop focusing all your attention, energy and blame on them.
To give yourself some understanding of why they behave the way they do.
To release your need to save them, or fix them, change them or the fantasy that your love can make them all better.
To accept who they choose to be and how they choose to behave. You have no control over their life, only your own.
Acceptance is a necessary part of your own recovery, releasing your bitterness and anger towards them so you can reclaim your life and energy.
Accepting them does not mean you see them again and it does not mean forgetting what happened – although in time you may just choose to forget about it … especially once you understand the bigger picture.
Acceptance means accepting their weaknesses and inability to heal themselves.
I have gathered a lot of information, and I’d like to share it. I’ll be adding a little new info. each day.
Love and baby steps,