I’m feeling a pull today.
The pull is demanding action from me.
I can’t hear anything – it’s just a knowing.
Damn – it’s time isn’t it.
I had hoped it was all a dream.
I want to sleep, hide, run, keep warm, avoid.
For ten years I have done just that.
Trying to hold onto my life, my family, my reality.
Was what I saw real?
I remember now, I accepted something..
Damn – what a fool!
I don’t want this.. not little old me.
I have lost everything I love trying to hold on, keep safe, control my life.
I have lost people’s respect trying to play small.
I tried hard to make my life ‘normal’.
I wanted normal.
I am reluctant.
I am scared.
But I’ve run out of choices.
It must be big to have paralyzed me for ten years.
It’s all my dreams and fears combined.
I know I can do some good
I guess it’s time
I guess I’m ready
I guess I’m brave
I guess I’m strong
I know I’m not alone.
There are others feeling the same way.
I hope I find them soon
Because I need you,
I think we need each other.